Grandmotherly Advice

My grandmother died in 1975, but her birthday is coming up, and that

always causes me to reminisce. The long walks we used to take to the

store on Brunswick Street , the quarters she gave me for meaningless

jobs like pulling weeds or washing the sidewalk... Those gems were all

good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of

grandmotherly advice, occurred when I was only about 10.

We were sitting in a park having just finished collecting some 40 soda

bottles for the deposit money on a beautiful spring day. She told me

that one day, I would find a wonderful woman and start my own family.

"And remember always this thing," she said. "Be sure you marry a woman

with small hands."

"How come, Grandma?" I asked her. She answered in her soft voice..

"Makes your dick look bigger."