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Views: 34844
Created: 08/18 2006
Category: Dirty
Type: Joke

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Last day on the job

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."

The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."
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On July 20th 2009 GrlwithSkillz Said: 
GrlwithSkillz OOO I get it lol, took me forever to get it lol
On July 18th 2009 mandolinman200 Said: 
mandolinman200 HAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!
On May 14th 2009 Dragonslayer62 Said: 
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lolz ha
On May 5th 2009 VivaLaFatima Said: 
VivaLaFatima dats well funnyy!! XD
On April 21st 2009 Leviir5 Said: 
Leviir5 Loll Funny As_x3''
On February 14th 2009 jokequeen Said: 
jokequeen ha
On February 6th 2009 Harmony333 Said: 
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PLEASE DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. xSEND THIS OVER TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. THIS IS SO SCARY CAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS 6 PLEASE DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. xSEND THIS OVER TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. THIS IS SO SCARY CAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS 6 nice lol!?
On February 2nd 2009 VampsLover Said: 
VampsLover lmao
On December 30th 2008 gracalice Said: 
gracalice lol
On December 20th 2008 What123654 Said: 
What123654 i dnt get it
On December 12th 2008 warriow4 Said: 
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wat
On December 11th 2008 bettyross9 Said: 
bettyross9 You get what you ask for!!
On November 10th 2008 lizzyloo1751 Said: 
lizzyloo1751 thats so fuckin funny.......
On November 10th 2008 lizzyloo1751 Said: 
lizzyloo1751 thats so fuckin funny.......
On August 30th 2008 RogerDatShawty Said: 
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your jokes are boring!!
On August 30th 2008 RogerDatShawty Said: 
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how the fuck you get 400 votes on this gay shit im wayyy funnier than you are!!
On August 1st 2008 CharTheKnight Said: 
CharTheKnight LMFAO! oh wow this is funny XD
On July 23rd 2008 XoLOLAXo Said: 
XoLOLAXo haha...thats too good.
On July 23rd 2008 boredbowman Said: 
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Fabulous!!! I think the woman was a blonde, though. And whoever is posting those "Dont stop reading this stuff", grow the fuck up!!!
On July 20th 2008 pittbullkingri Said: 
pittbullkingri lmfao
On July 16th 2008 arapahoeqt16 Said: 
arapahoeqt16 damn took mi a long time to figure it out LOL
On July 14th 2008 CandickJones Said: 
CandickJones LOL
On July 10th 2008 Karyna69 Said: 
Karyna69 lol i told it to my husband and he uses his words carefully now!! lol!!!
On July 6th 2008 prissy3498 Said: 
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lol!
On July 5th 2008 mymyspacesux Said: 
mymyspacesux man i wish i was a mailman!!!