Ethel in the Nursing Home

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge
around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to
maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one
sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of
them actually joined in.
One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky
Clarence  stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in
a
firm voice.   "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished
around in her handbag and  pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up
to
him. "OK" he said, and away  Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold
 popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of
 insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and
 held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am."

 As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of
 her, Butt-Naked, and holding his "You-Know-What" in his hand. "Oh, good
 grief," yelled Ethel, "Not that D*** Breathalyzer Test Again!!!"