Bed Sheets

An extremely modest man

 was in the hospital for a series of tests,

 the last of which had left his 

bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips

 to the bathroom, 

he decided the latest episode was 

another and stayed put. 

He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea

 and was embarrassed beyond his ability

 to remain rational.

 In a complete loss of composure

 he jumped out of bed, 

gathered up the bed sheets, 

and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital 

when the sheets landed on him. 

He started yelling, cursing, and swinging

 his arms violently trying to get

the unknown things off, 

and ended up with the soiled sheets in a

tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there,

 unsteady on his feet, 

staring down at the sheets,

 a hospital security guard, 

(barely containing his (laughter),

and who had watched the whole incident, 

walked up and asked, 'What the

heck is going on here?'

The drunk, still staring down replied: 

'I think I just beat the shit

out of a ghost.'