THINGS I MUST NOT DO AT HOGWARTS

>
> I must not put out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
>
> Making rumors about Harry and Draco's secret love life is not funny
and it
> will stop soon.
>
> I must not bring a Magic-8 ball to Divination class.
>
> I must not make fun of Prof. Lupin's 'time of the month'.
>
> I must not set up an underground dueling arena.
>
> I must not ask for advice from Peeves on how to wreak havoc.
>
> I must not convince first years that the new password to
Gryffinndor tower is
> "Petrificus Totalus" and must be recited with their wands pointed
at
> themselves.
>
> I must not pay first years a galleon to pee in Mad-Eye Moody's hip
flask.
>
> I must not use the Invisibility Cloak to sneak into the girl's dorm.
>
> I must not ask Prof. Trewlawny where she laid her eggs.
>
> I must not leave shampoo on Prof. Snape's desk with instructions on
how to
> properly wash his hair.
>
> I must not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and shout "To the
Batmobile,
> Robin!"
>
> I must not put a paper sign on Firenze's back saying "Pony Rides: 3
Sickles".
>
> Seamus Finnegan is not "After Me Lucky Charms"
>
> I will not buy Professor Lupin a flea collar
>
> There is no such thing as an 'Invisibility Thong'
>
> I must not ask Harry Potter who died and made him the boss.
>
> I must not point to Harry Potter's scar and ask if his Voldy senses
are
> tingling.
>
> I will not sing "We're off to see the Wizard" when sent to the
Headmaster's
> office.
>
> I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow peeps.
>
> I will not tell the first years to build a treehouse over the
whomping willow.
>
> I will not lock the Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room and take
bets on who
> will come out alive.
>
> I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
>
> Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's DADA teacher is
tasteless
> and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
>
> If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15
seconds, i am to
> assume that i am not allowed to do it.
>
> I will not tell the first years that professor snape is the voice
of God.
>
> Putting a snitch in Malfoy's pants really isn't all that funny.
Even if it
> does make him scream like a girl.
>
> I am not to tell Nearly Headless Nick that he'd forget his head if
it wasn't
> attached--thats just cruel.
>
> I should not confess to crimes that happened before I was born,
even if I
> have access to a time turner.
>
> I Will not jump up, Yelling "VOLDERMORT, RUN!" in the middle of a
Order or DA
> meeting.
>
> I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his "Happy place."
>
> "Swish and flick" is only a wand movement
>