Vetoed Valentines

Valentines Day is here again, and with it the perfect opportunity for marketing departments the world over to romance investors and donors with Valentine-themed promotions! Here are some that didn’t quite make it off the drawing board:

Nevada State Tourism Board
“Nothing Says I LOVE YOU Like Legalized Prostitution and Gambling” T-shirts, baseball caps, and coffee mugs.

Ku Klux Klan
* Valentine’s Day Heart Burning, co-sponsored by Alka Seltzer

Vatican Public Relations Office
* “Naughty Altar Boy” limited edition ceramic figurine

American Heart Association
* Chocolate heart with marshallow-filled arteries. Simultaneously a touching token of love and a serious warning to an overweight sweetheart.

Daughters of the American Revolution
* Illustrated Kama Sutra featuring George and Martha Washington. Comes with authentic period wooden dental dam.

PETA
* Spray Paint a Red Heart on Joan Rivers’ Coat Competition

National Society of Organ Donors
* “My Heart Belongs to You (As Soon As I’m Brain Dead)” cards.

Department of Homeland Security
* Moving the Valentine’s Day National Warning System Code Red for a “High Risk of Lovin’”