Toxic Waste

There are pens and notebooks flying

Past my head, caught in the battle of an age

The papers are screaming at the pens

“I am tired of you walking all over me!”

My car is now in the sky,

Telling me to quit dreaming

It looks in a lake, curses,

And asks if I have any shaving cream

Snowballs are now street dancing

And the Dean is singing hip hop.

I look around in wonder,

As a turnip comes levitating towards me

“Come on and join in the fun”

I run terrified, toward a psychiatric unit

Thinking I must be loaded on something

An ant in a skirt is sitting at a desk

Applying lipstick, and decorating a toilet with flowers

A tractor sits in a chair and moans about a flu

And Alfred Hitchcock has just given me a toothpick.

Outside, the oceans are floating in the air

Stating they are tired of all the marine life

Deciding to take a dump

a shark is now eating bubbles

Saying that they taste like chicken.

I’m walking now bewildered,

Thinking I’m insane,

Hitler is now meditating with Gandhi

And JFK and Robert Kennedy,

Are playing Russian roulette in the park

Venice just boarded a Greyhound bus,

Asking for a one way to Japan.

Hannibal Lector is now beside me in a trench coat

Telling me to “Free my Mind”

Zeus is hurling lightning bolts,

at Obi Wan Kenobi

An atheist is now singing Christmas carols

In a junkyard with the pope.

My computer is in the Whitehouse

Bent on world domination.

I have now taken the Turnip’s advice

And am gargling toxic waste

From the fountain of knowledge