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my second poem... :D

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Created: 10/23 2007
Views: 224
Category: Other

My Poems

+ 33
Forest Song
+ 21
Night is my Metaphor
+ 22
Endless Thoughts
+ 15
Desert
+ 17
Why?
+ 15
Snow

Night is my Metaphor

Beyond the horizon the sky grows dark

Like a sheet of darkness covering the world

With stars beginning to appear, leaving their mark

In several different patterns, as if they were swriled

The moon shines bright, radiant and proud

Showing itself off for miles on end

Over the infinite ocean with hardly a sound

Waiting only for its reflection to send

As clouds begin to seep, waves begin to roll

Thunder begins to clap while lightning starts to strike

The sea grows wild and raging, as if it were a tempered soul

The untamed water and terrifying sky were very much alike

Still, the moon and the stars shimmer through thick and thin

After time had passed, the storm begins to fade away

Unleashing spectacular beams of light as if there had never been

The kind of light that does not lead astray

 

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On February 7th 2009 erickagere Said: 
erickagere How pretty. And when I say pretty, I get this mental image of your poem. Loves it.
On December 30th 2008 animallover925 Said: 
animallover925 awesomeness i love it!!!
On December 29th 2008 godsbluejay Said: 
godsbluejay i love night haha and this poem lol nice
On October 25th 2007 Meowspots Said: 
Meowspots thank you guys!
On October 25th 2007 ShinseiOnnen Said: 
ShinseiOnnen Awesomeness!!! Very good job. :) Love it!!!
On October 25th 2007 Thugnastay227 Said: 
Thugnastay227 if this is truly only ur second poem then this is pretty good. I'm not going to critique because i believe everyone should have their own unique style. i like it. good job.
On October 23rd 2007 Meowspots Said: 
Meowspots thanks for the advice! :)
On October 23rd 2007 MrKeesee Said: 
MrKeesee Loved this poem, my only critique would be to avoid the forced rhyme, as seen in lines 5 and 7.
On October 23rd 2007 transgenic Said: 
transgenic Awesome word choice, this is beautiful! There's something about the title that I'm in love with, too!
On October 23rd 2007 Meowspots Said: 
Meowspots thanks!!
On October 23rd 2007 nockets Said: 
nockets i like it! it's mysterious and beautiful!