I want to live.

i'm drowning in this thing.

this wave of depression.

that engulfs me.

the moment i close my eyes.

will it ever end?

this never ending misery.

this self-imposed hell of sorts.

i can tell myself i'm over it.

i'm really not.

all i want is to be free.

free of my worries.

free of my guilt and tears.

i can't go to sleep at night.

the second i close my eyes

i see the cause of it all.

a mixture of things.

i see my past.

and my future.

i see past loves.

even past likes.

i want to live my life.

my free and careless life.

i want things to be.

to be.

to be the way they should.

however uneducated that dream may be.

i want to be able to breathe without pain.