Goofy Gary (Ballad?)

This is a story of a man named Gary, he made the greatest baby making machine in the world

He showed it to friends, but they hurled

People soon no longer liked him and threw beehives at him

He started making baby squirrels



Glued them together one by one

Glued them together high enough to touch the sun

With laughter and glee, the giant squirrels and Gary stole the sun from we

The people rioted and shat fire everywhere

They fought back with giant polar bear


Heads flew, people ran

Turned to our Obama

"Oh what do we do?"

He proposed a new stimulus plan


Obama and Polar bear did not work

Began growing tired of being treated like dork

The people bought guns

They fired at will


The giant squirrel and Gary wrote there will

As they faced death

Gary prepared one final blow

To kill all below




Riding on the back of the giant squirrel with sun

Gary had a little fun

Made a billion babies, cannon to boot

Better watch out, he gonna blast all who shoot



People ran in terror, there days now numbered

Babies smashing into every walking life form

A billion and one babies, was like a hail storm

"Oh my fuck this isn't good"

People screamed in fear

"Oh my fuck this isn't good

gonna have one final beer"


After all babies had been launched, bodies covered the Earth

All except giant squirrel and Gary

Claiming victory on top of mountain of corpses

"None shall no longer laugh at machines that give birth!"