Toaditup

two days ago i was a very dark place

+11

Created: 06/21 2007

Views: 143

Category: Pain

Logical death

And through death he would find logic

Knowing that in life the secrets he had were to many

Only through death could others see what drove him down

the pain of all the things he did without

From a friend on the phone

to a lover waiting to hold you at home

all of which he did not have but longed for

Though he wanted life he felt that through death others could live better

For through death only then could others truley learn how to live

MN 07

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On June 22nd 2007 tswieberg Said:


	This is pretty good, I can't wait to see the final draft.

On June 21st 2007 Toaditup Said:


	Not much work went into this, it is in its first draft form which is all i intend because to me i understand the meanings of all the words. They may not make sense to others but the first line is what came out of my mouth after i was sitting in my car for 15min so depressed i couldnt move and started talking to myself again. Contiplating the logic the my own death which led to an anxiety attack, but after such a dark day i created this which again makes sense to me in its entirty

On June 21st 2007 fgggfx Said:

On June 21st 2007 blah2blah Said:


	very dark...i like the end part but the beginning bugs me cuz of how it starts, it seems like you forgot something.

On June 21st 2007 PoeticPang Said:


	hmmmmm,,,,, interesting point of view,,,, i don't agree half way thru,, but,,, in a way,,,,,,,,,, life and death is a cycle ,,,, the beginning uhm,,, idk,, it seemed incomplete,,, like,, u cut off some part in the beginning,,, so the ending was there,, but the starting wasn't much helpful in creating an image of what is occurring as the reader reads thru what ur trying to state out,,, yeah,,, something like so,,, pretty good so far,,, just get some sort of beginning,,, to complete the whole,,, great job!~~~~~Pang

On June 21st 2007 XXpirategirlXX Said:


	i love it.very kool check out my poems and stories if u ever have time.good job -Amber-