Created By
Author's Comments
meh...not my best by far. commnet?Rate this Poem
Info
Created:
10/15 2007
Views:
283
Category:
Pain
My Poems
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20
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Everybody is somebody. |
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33
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Backwards Society. |
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25
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Sick |
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18
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It's my madness |
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19
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Bitter Rage |
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19
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You are the key to my Insanity. |
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18
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Beauty grows from cruelty. |
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23
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Little Cancer Sticks |
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42
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Little Girl Child. |
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31
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A test of Colour |
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28
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Release |
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32
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Little Thoughts. |
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4
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Alone |
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4
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Simple yet confusing |
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2
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Reality |
Release
Your fingers curl into yet another fistYou swing at my already bruised face,I duck, causing you to miss.Your fist bounces off the wall; it’s all slow motion, like some American sitcom.A knuckle cracks.Silence, this which I fear the most. Your turn to me, my heart drums in my chest. I gasp when I see your eyes, so filled with hate.You hiss, ‘bad move bitch’.And it begins.Finally you stop. You’re exhausted.I lay like an old rag doll, my blood a crimson blanket I rest upon.I’m dizzy, blood clouds my vision.Opposite me you sit. Crying. Crying as if it is you that has been wronged.I struggle to speak but my mouth doesn’t seem to get the message.You look up and our eyes meet.Using the last of my strength I give you a little smile.You look afraid.I take a last pain filled breath and finally I am released from the struggle that was my life.
Please Login to post comments| On March 22nd 2008 username685 Said: |
| a great poem
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| On October 17th 2007 Pikkakard Said: |
| This is a very powerful poem. Reads very well |
| On October 16th 2007 barbaraew Said: |
| great writting |
| On October 16th 2007 tswieberg Said: |
| This is an amazing poem, a message that needs to be sent. So much emotion and so much pain. I especially love the ending, except, I wouldn't smile. Awesome poem, keep them coming. |
| On October 16th 2007 Smarties4 Said: |
| I like it. Spacing would have been nice, but who knows how these things happen hey? :P hehe, good job |
| On October 16th 2007 crystal2sexy4u Said: |
| It is A really Good Poem.. It Was A Really Powerful Message.. |
| On October 15th 2007 ESCAPEDFROMGOD Said: |
| The spacing has to do with your text style. Your code probably clashed with the site and it decided to drop all spaces.
That's what I reckon anyway. Your poetry is alright I suppose, it's not my style, I found it hard to follow with my simple mind. I tend to wander off on a tangent and think of completely unrelated topics while I'm reading poetry. I havn't found any poetry on this site that's as easy on the mind as the poems I've created. I like to write stuff that's easy and fun to read, as they were fun to write. Hopefully you don't even have to concentrate to get the gist of the story, and an element of humour in most my poems. If you are a scholar of english, you will appreciate my poetry. Just about every word has been meticulously planned and edited to fit a system of timing.
Just coz I don't like someones poem doesn't mean it's no good. It's dissappointing how no one has any constructive criticism, if you notice something amiss with my poetry, it'd be nice to know. Even as I proof read my work over a hundred times before I post, someone else might see something I missed. When you read my poems, disregard A VIOLENT ROMANCE. That is not an example of what I like to do. It will be deleted soon.
But out of these two new ones, the next one would be a bit better. Let me know if you got something that's kinda lyrical you think I would enjoy reading. Sorry about this massive note. Didn't wanna leave anything out. (this is the longest fucking comment I've ever left anyone.) Safe. |
| On October 15th 2007 California1516 Said: |
| wow..very sad and powerful..i like the style of it..at first i didnt like it..but then i get really into it:) |
| On October 15th 2007 Xtremely4Jeff Said: |
| wow... that is good. |
| On October 15th 2007 TanyaCheri Said: |
| Wow, thats pretty powerfull |
| On October 15th 2007 sochula777 Said: |
| I like this one so nice! |
| On October 15th 2007 mrskritter Said: |
| nice work sad |
| On October 15th 2007 darkmatters Said: |
| I DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE SPACING! |
