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I know it sucks

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+13

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Created: 04/22 2007
Views: 186
Category: Lyric

My Poems

+ 20
Love=Pain
+ 16
What's it like in hell?
+ 13
It was love at first sight
+ 18
Standing Alone
+ 24
Confused
+ 16
Met my old lover the other day-not by me
+ 11
Tradegy on 34th streat
+ 13
She
+ 15
My obbsession (for him)
+ 17
The Forbidden Minority
+ 12
Wondering why...
+ 11
Softer To Me
+ 5
it's not finished yet! [kreepy poem]

She

She never told me what was wrong

but I could tell she wasn't being true

She claimed that help was not what she needed

And I was clueless of what to do

 

She was my friend so long ago

until be began to drift apart

She wouldn't tell me anything

but that she had a broken heart

 

She now wore black all the time

and hated everything, including me

If she would've only told me what she needed

then we'd still be friends and not enemies

 

She through her whole life away

Just because she couldn't trust anyone

but I was there that whole time, she just didn't care to look

that's where her main probloms had begun

 

I miss her so very much

but she is all alone now

I really wanted to help this friend

but I just didn't know how

 

I wanted to help her

but she wouldm't understand

what I would've done for her

I could really lend a hand

 

I guess her life will be unsolved

and will forever remain a mistery

if only I could remember this sad gurl

in which I always refered to as "she"

 

 

 

 

 

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On July 2nd 2007 leegonzalez Said: 
leegonzalez ok, this is good, but needs work. if you always referred to her as she, then how close could you have possibly been? sry, am not criticizing. just, write about what you feel and know to be true, even if you choose to write about skittles or you favorite pair of socks, lol.
On June 14th 2007 cuteness66 Said: 
cuteness66 its good.. and i like how you refered to her as she.. oh thanx for reading my poem.
On June 13th 2007 softballdemon Said: 
softballdemon It's very good. I definately love it. loosen up a bit. Something that might help is if you try writing a poem like i write mine. just put words together telling a small story. It can be true or fake. Either way it's easier to relieve stress that way. It's a really good poem otherwise. I really love it.
On April 22nd 2007 101091 Said: 
101091 i like it. it hit close to home for me. nice job.
On April 22nd 2007 knowlyfe Said: 
knowlyfe its really not that bad, since you're writing it as an emotional outlet. i guess the only thing yu could do better is try a bit more word play. but if its not intended to impress, dont try, just keep writing to relieve yourself of pain.. and stuff lol.
On April 22nd 2007 milolover36 Said: 
milolover36 ok, I know it sucks so u don't have to tell me... I"m juss so bored I had to write something... no one's sommenting my stuff nemore. plz, don't criticise, juss suggest what I can do better and I'd be happy thx, Makenzie