Created By
Author's Comments
My first try with this style. check it..Rate this Poem
Info
My Poems
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129
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Silence |
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83
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Dad's Accident |
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114
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Christian |
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158
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Love Is... |
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137
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His Only Love |
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112
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Together Forever |
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103
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Walking Alone |
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92
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Worthless |
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120
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My Best Friend |
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94
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Pulling The Trigger |
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143
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Don't Give Up |
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82
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Falling Apart |
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99
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Dancing In The Rain |
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62
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Just For You |
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79
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Going To Hell - Cheater |
Death
Repairing the holes in ones fallen dreams,
Holding the ropes that once held the keys,
Kissing your lover in hopes to get more,
Holding the door to the enemies of before,
How to get through when the world seems too big,
The room spins around but no one sees where you’ve been,
The air thins out and soon there’s none left,
You’re gasping as you try to take your last breath,
Your vision doesn’t last as long as you’d thought,
Soon you’ll be dead, your lesson not taught,
Keep your head high as you say your last bye,
Fall to the ground though you still seem to fly,
And suddenly it’s gone,
Your enemies, your friends,
The ones you held tight,
All of them taken away with the night.
Author's Note: Please tell me what you think, give advice. It's my first try with this style of writing... So yeah... rate please.. .thanks!
| On January 12th 2008 TheDragonwitch Said: |
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| I like the flow and the chain of thought. Very nice |
| On October 19th 2007 miseryLOVESme Said: |
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| I really like this poem, **AWESOME** for you're first try at the style ;P |
| On October 16th 2007 melbell101 Said: |
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| this is very good |
| On July 15th 2007 jwoody1980 Said: |
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| the poem is really good. very deep thoughts put into it. read some of mine and let me know what you think |
| On July 15th 2007 Byrnesrebel Said: |
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| this is cool |
| On July 15th 2007 emily28793 Said: |
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| awsum poem u have sum real talent |
| On July 14th 2007 Carcer Said: |
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| well its an interesting Rhyming structure....i got ABCCDEFFGGHHIJKK lol. Well worded as well =] |
| On July 14th 2007 guffa78 Said: |
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| greatness as always |
| On July 14th 2007 mrskritter Said: |
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| nice work |
| On July 13th 2007 bossy14183 Said: |
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| nice..i like it..it all rhymes...nice |
| On July 13th 2007 ivy81 Said: |
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| whats the stlye called? |
| On July 13th 2007 swiver Said: |
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| wow.. ur really good! keep writing!!! you could get somewhere with it!!! lol |
| On July 13th 2007 rosiecheeks123 Said: |
| On July 13th 2007 Jeremy062902 Said: |
| On July 13th 2007 candicebob Said: |
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| i think it should've ended 'now come to an end' or alike, insteada 'all of them taken away with the night'.
but overall i liked it. |
| On July 13th 2007 Javellef Said: |
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| Excellent first try! Your flow, your rhyme, your message all hit the mark for being a great poem. I love your work on this style of poetry. |
| On July 13th 2007 JWalker2406 Said: |
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| It's really good, but I think instead of saying "you say your last bye" that it would sound better with "you say your last goodbye", but either way I like it :):) |
| On July 13th 2007 inlovewithc17 Said: |


