To Be The Person(newer)

I can't stop the thoughts in my head.
racing through me over and over
Playing like a broken record
Nothing can stop this, not even the luck of a four leaf clover

because I'm constantly being reminded
of the person I'm displaying
the person I know I'm not
the person I'm debating

and this voyage of myself, I now have begun
to reach deep into the middle of my soul
and to apply it to everyday life
it becomes too much to control

Well it's now time for a change
I'm tired of this person, I want the new me
Someone I will be proud of
To be the person I want to be

and to be that person, it takes a lot
to stand so tall
and maintain that soul
you so desperately have sought

but why is it so hard?
to just change so many have overcome
why do I keep coming back?
why is my heart going numb

because I grow colder
something I always feared
my eyes filled with hatred
my eyes no longer teared.

and while I'm Picking up the pieces of my shattered person
the one that took so long to create
attempting to put him back together
I can't just fight against fate

Is it possible I've chosen the wrong person?
maybe I wasn't suppose to be the one I thought
the one everyone liked
the one nobody fought

but this journey is taking oh too long
why cant it just end in the blink of an eye
and to be the one I've always wanted
it's just enough to make me cry