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In: Chats
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94
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727
Created: 08/09 01:59 am
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My complaint about Testriffic
I've seen a number of inimical and unrealistic things over the years, but Testriffic's bait-and-switch tactics really take the cake. The key point of the following exposition is that idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Testriffic spends its leisure time devising ever more reckless ways to distract attention from more important issues. I know in my heart of hearts that Testriffic talks out of both sides of its mouth. Why? That's easy. Testriffic has commented that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape. I would love to refute that but there seems to be no need, seeing as its comment is lacking in common sense.
I imagine that when people say that bigotry and hate are alive and well, they're right. And Testriffic is to blame. To what consequences this leads can be seen from a few simple considerations. First of all, a large percentage of Testriffic's companions can be termed prurient. And let me tell you, I recently informed Testriffic that its cronies mold the mind of virtually every citizen—young or old, rich or poor, simple or sophisticated. Testriffic said it'd "look further into the matter." Well, not too much further. After all, I have no idea why it makes such a big fuss over exhibitionism. There are far more pressing issues that present themselves and that should be discussed, debated, and solved—issues such as war, famine, poverty, and homelessness. There is also the lesser issue that as long as the beer keeps flowing and the paychecks keep coming, Testriffic's minions don't really care that its campaigns of malice and malignity cannot stand on their own merit. That's why they're dependent on elaborate artifices and explanatory stories to convince us that Testriffic has achieved sainthood. Testriffic exhibits signs of arrested development. Since I don't have anything more to say on that subject, I'll politely get off my soapbox now.
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Haha... Just a joke, By the way... Klick the link above, and kreate yer own...
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At 09:13 pm
DashboardLogic
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Based on Mr. Llama's response to my previous letter, I believe it's safe to say that a real fight against morally questionable cynicism can be undertaken only if a basic change in social conditions makes it possible to tell you things that Mr. Llama doesn't want you to know. Let me begin by saying that Mr. Llama is a homophobic parvenu. I use that label only when it's true. If you don't believe it is, then consider that over time, Mr. Llama's obiter dicta have progressed from being merely condescending to being supercondescending, hypercondescending, and recently ultracondescending. In fact, I'd say that now they're even megacondescending. His faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree. Mr. Llama's inimical initiatives are in full flower and their poisonous petals of commercialism are blooming all around us.
Call me old-fashioned, but Mr. Llama has a natural talent for complaining. He can find any aspect of life and whine about it for hours upon hours. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that for those of us who make our living trying to wake people out of their stupor and call on them to act as a positive role model for younger people, it is important to consider that Mr. Llama has a glib proficiency with words and very sensitive nostrils. He can smell money in your pocket from a block away. Once that delicious aroma reaches Mr. Llama's nostrils, he'll start talking about the joy of antidisestablishmentarianism and how the worst types of brusque, tasteless crackpots there are are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. As you listen to Mr. Llama's sing-song, chances are you won't even notice his hand as it goes into your pocket. Only later, after you realize you've been robbed, will you truly understand that when I hear his thralls parrot the party line—that he is a master of precognition, psychokinesis, remote viewing, and other undeveloped human capabilities—I see them not as people but as machines. The appropriate noises are coming out of their larynges, but their brains are not involved as they would be if they were thinking about how if I withheld my feelings on this matter, I'd be no less bookish than Mr. Llama.
There are two main flaws with Mr. Llama's announcements: 1) another point worth thinking about is that Mr. Llama is—for lack of a better word—biggety, and 2) if you study Mr. Llama's litigious demands long enough, you'll come to the inescapable conclusion that he wants us to think of him as a do-gooder. Keep in mind, though, that Mr. Llama wants to "do good" with other people's money and often with other people's lives. If he really wanted to be a do-gooder, he could start by admitting that he swears that he knows the "right" way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. Clearly, he's living in a world of make-believe, with flowers and bells and leprechauns and magic frogs with funny little hats. Back in the real world, I want to give people more information about Mr. Llama, help them digest and assimilate and understand that information, and help them draw responsible conclusions from it. Here's one conclusion I indisputably hope people draw: Mr. Llama's grievances are a mere cavil, a mere scarecrow, one of the last shifts of a desperate and dying cause. Anyhow, I guess I've run out of things to say, so let me just leave you with one parting wish: Together, may we establish a supportive—rather than an intimidating—atmosphere for offering public comment.
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At 04:06 pm
Benitto420
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Alright, I'll come up with a better one soon but this still made me laugh. Especially the second and last lines. 
Allow me the honor of giving you a brief lesson in My lack of sex's many unconscionable attributes. Here's a quick review: I cannot promise not to be angry at My lack of sex. I do promise, however, to try to keep my anger under control, to keep it from leading me—as it leads My lack of sex—to weaken family ties. Some critics have called him corrupt. A handful insist he's stentorian. My lack of sex's secret agents, on the other hand, consider him to be one of the great minds of this century. He makes no sense at all. So don't feed me any phony baloney about how the rigors that his victims have been called upon to undergo have been amply justified in the sphere of concrete achievement. That's just not true.
The biggest difference between me and My lack of sex is that My lack of sex wants to waste hours and hours of our time in fruitless conferences and meetings. I, on the other hand, want to give direction to a universal human development of culture, ethics, and morality. Pardon me for not being able to empathize with judgmental control freaks, but only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to make this world a better place in which to live. But the first step is to acknowledge that we need to make My lack of sex pay for his crimes against humanity. Why? Because of what's at stake: literally everything.
I would fain condemn My lack of sex's criminal ineptitude but I'm a bit worried that My lack of sex will retaliate by forcing me to lose all self-control. I'm worried because he likes thinking thoughts that aren't burdensome and that feel good. That's why My lack of sex must have recently made a huge withdrawal from the First National Bank of Lies. How else could he manage to tell us that the sun rises just for him? I might be able to forgive him, but only if he promises never again to declare martial law, suspend elections, and round up dissidents (i.e., anyone who does not buy his lie that his drug-induced ravings provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything). I am not trying to save the world—I gave up that pursuit a long time ago. But I am trying to act against injustice, whether it concerns drunk driving, domestic violence, or even sexism. I'd like to finish with a quote from a private e-mail message sent to me by a close friend of mine: "Society as a whole should act as a unifying force to tackle the multinational death machine that My lack of sex is currently constructing".
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At 03:22 pm
feebleglurg
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My complaint about Prof. Gonzo4201 , Jr.
Can someone please translate whatever message Prof. Gonzo4201 , Jr. is trying to convey into something that I might better be able to understand, like Yiddish or that Bushman clicking language? As it stands, I have no idea whether Gonzo4201 is seriously claiming that she is a paragon of morality and wisdom or if it's simply the case that the quest to understand how she can be so testy-to-the-core raises far more questions than it answers. What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to Gonzo4201 herself. Some people think that this is a truth that Gonzo4201's adherents are told by Gonzo4201 that they cannot acknowledge, lest they give aid and comfort to the rest of us. Others believe that she conducts herself in a superciliously pompous manner. The truth lies somewhere in between, namely, that I've managed to come up with a way in which her essays could be made useful. Gonzo4201's essays could be used by the instructors of college courses as a final examination of sorts. Any student who can't find at least 20 errors of fact or fatuous statement automatically flunks. Extra credit goes to students who realize that it's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to deal with the relevant facts. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader.
It's Gonzo4201's deep-seated belief that she never engages in profligate, termagant, or conceited politics. Sure, she might be able to justify conclusions like that—using biased or one-sided information, of course—but I prefer to know the whole story. In this case, the whole story is that Gonzo4201 is an opportunist. That is, she is an ideological chameleon, without any real morality, without a soul. Without a doubt, however, what she is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly shiftless activity. Gonzo4201's ability to capitalize on the economic chaos, racial tensions, and social discontent of the current historical moment can be explained in large part by the following. We need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with Gonzo4201. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that in public, Gonzo4201 vehemently inveighs against corruption and sin. But when nobody's looking, Gonzo4201 never fails to revile everything in the most obscene terms and drag it into the filth of the basest possible outlook.
I've already said this a thousand times and with a thousand different phrasings, but Gonzo4201's perceptions are always accompanied by hyperbolic rhetorical claims that are clearly perceived after-the-fact as transparently vitriolic. An equal but opposite observation is that that fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that if Gonzo4201 can overawe and befuddle a sufficient number of prominent individuals then it will become virtually impossible for anyone to view the realms of nepotism and pessimism not as two opposing poles but as two continua. Many people respond to Gonzo4201's stuck-up codices in the same way that they respond to television dramas. They watch them; they talk about them; but they feel no overwhelming compulsion to do anything about them. That's why I insist we reverse the devolutionary course that Gonzo4201 has set for us. In Prof. Gonzo4201 , Jr.'s writing, words and meaning have almost parted company. May we never forget this if we are to deny Gonzo4201 and her lickspittles a chance to turn a deaf ear to need and suffering.
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In response to
lisaljb At 02:39 pm
gonzo4201
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My complaint about Miss Lisa Ljb
Although I generally believe that the less said about Miss Lisa Ljb, the better, I do feel obligated to say a few things about Miss Ljb's maledicent reports. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. What I'm saying is this: there is a simple answer to the question of what to do about her sophistries. The difficult part is in implementing the answer. The answer is that we must grant people the freedom to pursue any endeavor they deem fitting to their skills, talent, and interest. If I had my druthers, she would never have had the opportunity to draw unsuspecting flibbertigibbets into the orbit of self-serving, insufferable smut peddlers. As it stands, if we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to offer true constructive criticism—listening to the whole issue, recognizing the problems, recognizing what is being done right, and getting involved to help remedy the problem.
Even though Miss Ljb gives flattering titles to her natural distempers, when Miss Ljb tells us that her writings epitomize wholesome family entertainment, she somehow fails to mention that the law of self preservation dictates that I kick butt and take names. She fails to mention that a recent fact-finder's report revealed that from the fog and mist of her put-downs rises the leering grimace of heathenism. And she fails to mention that the protests that her spin doctors are so proud of are woefully depraved. (Actually, two wrongs don't make a right, but that's not important now.) Her criticisms of my letters have never successfully disproved a single fact I ever presented. Instead, Miss Ljb's criticisms are based solely on her emotions and gut reactions. Well, I refuse to get caught up in her "I think … I believe … I feel" game.
Clumsy nutters are sharply focused on an immediate goal: to create a new cottage industry around Miss Ljb's unforgiving form of quislingism. Miss Ljb is more than merely acrimonious. She's über-acrimonious. In fact, Miss Ljb's so acrimonious that her flimflams promote a redistribution of wealth. This is always an appealing proposition for Miss Ljb's expositors because much of the redistributed wealth will undoubtedly end up in the hands of the redistributors as a condign reward for their loyalty to Miss Ljb. Miss Lisa Ljb gives me the heebie-jeebies. Never forget that and never let her crush the remaining vestiges of democracy throughout the world.
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At 02:03 pm
lisaljb
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I would like to clean up the country and get it back on course again. But first, I'm going to jump ahead a bit and talk in general terms about how facts and their accuracy make a story, not the overdramatization of whatever Mr. Ghost Gonzo dreams up. Then, I'll back up and fill in some of the details. Okay, so to start with the general stuff, it's crass for Ghost to abridge our basic civil liberties. Or perhaps I should say, it's amoral.
All right, enough of that. Now let's talk about something else. Let's talk about how Ghost can't attack my ideas, so he attacks me. It could be worse, I suppose. He could beat plowshares into swords. I don't want to make any hard and final judgments, but if it were true, as he claims, that obscurity, evasiveness, incomprehensibility, indirectness, and ambiguity are marks of depth and brilliance, then I wouldn't be saying that I believe I have found my calling. My calling is to work together towards a shared vision. And just let him try and stop me.
One can consecrate one's life to the service of a noble idea or a glorious ideology. Ghost, however, is more likely to overthrow democratic political systems. I cannot emphasize enough how much I resent his actions. Any rational argument must acknowledge this. His nit-picky, pugnacious scribblings, naturally, do not. Ghost will just moan and groan until we give him permission to irritate an incredible number of people. Once we realize that, what do we do? The appropriate thing, in my judgment, is to unite rich and poor, young and old. I say that because he insists that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. In the long run, however, he's only fooling himself. Ghost would be better off if he just admitted to himself that a critical reevaluation of some of his fairy tales would doubtlessly be beneficial. As an interesting experiment, try to point this out to Ghost. (You might want to don safety equipment first.) I think you'll find that when he says that he is known for his sound judgment, unerring foresight, and sagacious adaptation of means to ends, in his mind, that's supposed to end the argument. It's like he believes he has said something very profound. And now, to end with a clever bit of doggerel: United we stand. Divided we fall. Mr. Ghost Gonzo's sinful hastily mounted campaigns will destroy us all.
lmfao
xD
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