The Saturday Night Boredumb

This is long, but it's not going to take up any of your time, since in all likeliness you're going to read MUCH more than this measly little thing by tomorrow, see? I mean if you've something else to do, that's cool, but if not, you can't really say anything about it other than it's uninteresting to you, which doesn't mean anything I've said is boring, it's just how you feel, see?

So I'm walking down the street & see the full moon & a hazy shape of clouds arond it, & I thought "All the sky is naked 'cept for the moon & the small group of clouds, a circle of friends," but I thought "Wait a minute, if the sky were naked, there'd be stars." but there were no stars, just one far far away from the moon atleast a couple miles away (& if a certain somebody's reading this then she'll dig that metaphor). So that means the clouds overshadowed the moon's glow & I can't see the other wide clouds blocking the stars, because they're invisible from my view. Now, that doen't mean they stars aren't there. It means an object/thing/force/entity that's out of my control is blocking my point of view from seeing those twinkling stars, but they're still there.
Which makes me wonder how somebody can ever feel lonely, or alone, simply because there's always someone there, regardless of you being able to see or hear or touch or even 'know' they're there. You also have yourself, if you're alone or lonely. You have yourself. & if you feel alone or lonely in your own presence & skin, then how could you expect someone ELSE to want to be with or around you? This is where being schizophrenic has its benefits; you ALWAYS have someone there with you. Always someone to talk to, or atleast have somebody in your prescence so that you're never alone. Loneliness is a state of mind, a temporary abandonment, but if you abandon yourself then there isn't a lotta hope for you, man.

Another disorder with benefits I think would be nice to have is ADHD; 100% guaranteed to lead a more interesting life if you have ADHD. & if you have ADHD, you're going to inevitably be more interested AND curious about Life. A benefit. Some people who get bored easily or frequently or have "nothing to do" would do well to have either of these disorders, & maybe these schmucks would quit yappin' about being bored & lonely & never having someone or being completely alone & would start yapping about something else, & perhaps that alternative train-rolling restless current of thoughts would lead to a more productive expression or opinion & give them the LOSS OF SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS & esteem needed to say what they're thinking, which I as well as I'm sure you suffer from, simply because a lot of people don't say everything they're thinking or want to think because of their peers or social circles or society or what people will think. I understand some folks need the stimulation of someone else for entertainment, or for comfort, or someone just to talk to to make the minutes pass by. But this is self-defeating in itself? To depend on someone else to occupy your time within your own brain & emotions..& if you're one of these folk, I don't think you should have the power to make decisions & conclusions about someone else's life or thoughts, more or less opinions about the things they have the will to say what they're thinking.

Reception & Approval are just distractions, or a crutch -- & if you're bored, & talking to another bored person, talking about how bored you both are, then I'd like to see your time cards from the time you woke up to the time you went to sleep.

Back to the moon. It's full right now. Which means its absolutely empty of any darkness or shades of black that usually occupy it, gradually -- but it's been cloudy the past week & so I haven't seen it GET to its empty state currently, but the transformation's happened. How? It's the way it is, even if I haven't seen it, or touched it, or been able to know the moon's even there, but it's what it is in constant cycle. Now does that mean that somebody who APPEARS to be doing nothing really is doing nothing? No! You can't say & don't have any right to say if they are or aren't doing something inside their own minds simply because you can't see it, & they can't convince you that you're doing nothing just sitting there unless you show 'em. So you're the Moon.

It'd be nice to think everyone knew all of this already, & some people already did, but we know for a fact that this is all mindboggling to some certain people. We know for a fact that not everybody understood previously simply because it seems most people are bored, lonely, & asking what someone else is doing. God help me if they're all 3 at the same time! Get THOSE freaks away from me. & don't tell me you're bored & lonely with a feigned interest in what I'M doing when your reaction after I tell you is "Cool." "Why?" "You weirdo" or "Idk what to say," you schmuck. Don't you have crutches, er, "friends", just like you? Friends who think like you, see like you, agree or disagree with you, talking about nothing or something depending on how you two get along with each other? Do your friends stimulate you? Challenge you to think more intricately about what you think, for the reasons why you wonder why you think the way you do? Wondering why yo ucan't talk to anybody you can relate to? That's why people probably say "I'm doing nothing." 'cause, based on your previous behaviour to what they've said to you, they knew enough not to SHARE with you their insights or true thoughts, 'cause while you're bored & talking to other bored people, that person who told you "I'm doing nothing" is reevaluating their sequence of thoughts & opinions about what or who matters to them for their own reasons & interests, what matters to them, see; & whether or not they decide to share with you doesn't mean they're boring, or they have nothing to talk about, it's all about their perception of you for what your perception of them is, right?

I can barely relate to anybody, man, simply 'cause I don't know how to talk to the people i talk to, including family, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm socially retarded or even LONELY, see. There are two types of people: Grass blades & ocean waves. I talk to grass blades, man, because I'm not "something" enough to float along with the ocean waves, see. Though I know a few boats, & I know a few encyclopedias & little stars, but they're not ocean waves, see.

Like I said, it'd be nice to think everyone knew this already, right? But it takes until someone says something out of the usual (which is just what 'different' is = a disruption of regular occurances or events or manner of speaking. There's no "weird" or "normal"; it's just "regular" & "diesel.") before someone agrees & says "I knew that, I just didn't say anything" which is rather redundant, firstly, 'cause if you're a bozo that doesn't say anything about the things you knew for your own reasons, & you can't talk to anybody, what are you doing with your time, man? You're gonna die tomorrow. You're dead yesterday, 100 people killed themselves as I wrote this all over the world & the US is bombing oversea continents to all hell right now as I write this, & you're bored 'cause you have nothing to do? Out of all the things you don't know, out of all the things you haven't done or have wanted to do, out of all the things you've wanted to say but haven't said, or felt the things you wanted to, out of all the "identity issues" you think you have about yourself, & the hundreds of other alternative possibilities & perceptions & opinions you can soak up like a sponge, you've the nerve to tell people you're bored, lonely, & want someone to talk to? You're no Schmuckula, man.

But you already knew this, but it's cool, man, it's cool, & thanks to Alex I don't have to go on Testriffic & see what the majority of topics or discussions have been about. What HAVE they been about as of lately, hm? Hm? Ooooohh, that's good, man. Keep doing that, man, keep doing that.

Written: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA,
signed: ThruOnesEyes

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