The Light Will Guide You: II

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            “Oh George!” the woman gasped and ran towards the man.

            “Oh Bereta!” the man growled and opened his arms, welcoming the busty scarlet.

            “Oh Brother…” I drawled sarcastically. “ Just kill her already!” This revenge case wasn’t giving me any satisfaction at all. The spineless nerd cowering in the dark corner of the room in front of the dramatic couple was chickening out of killing the bimbo who stole her husband. This was so harshing my mellow.

            “I don’t know…they look so happy!” This stick-figure with glasses is backing off her husband, now ex, because they look happy, how sweet. I’d slap some sense into this idiot, but Hades would shit bricks and then monkey-fling them at me. Something about having an abundance of lawyers in hell makes him nervous…

Beanpole girl started walking away, tears in her bulbous eyes.

“Hey, hey now!” I ran up to her and draped my pale arm over her thin shoulders, guiding her back to the couple who were currently playing tug-of-war with their tongues. Sickening. Before the tongue-sucking duo started stripping in front of us I tried to talk Mrs. Ex-Wifey down from going to hell for no reason.

The way it all works is if a human are murdered by a human-being then the victim has three things they can do with their souls. They can choose the righteous path and to go heaven to get reborn, they can stay a wandering soul and haunt the world for eternity, or, last but certainly not least, they can kill any person they want to. But of course, all good things have a price to pay. If door number three is chosen then the penance is going to the deepest pit of the Underworld, also known as Hell.

Once the victim makes up their minds, then they can’t change it. So this dupe was going to give up ultimate revenge and go to Hell anyway. Sometimes I wish I had the power to kill things again…

“That cheating whore just stole your husband, not to mention run you over with the nice pink Camaro your spouse lovingly bought for her.” I tried to sound as sympathetic as possible. “And your just gonna let her get away with it?” She looked down at her red sneakers, contemplating.

As expected, the more she thought the more the lone caterpillar on her forehead slithered down her freckled forehead. She was not only angry, but pissed. This is good, very good. I smiled brightly; it turns out this day might be so bad anyway.

I sighed heavily, waiting for her to think of a weapon of choice. If she didn’t hurry I’ll turn into that…thing…before she gets the job over with.

 After about an forty five minutes she chose a gun. How original. But originality wasn’t what I really cared about, it was getting the job done. She walked up to her now ex-husband. The old fart was glistening with sweat, gasping for breath in his red velvet sheets. The sleez-bucket woman was relaxing with a cig; the hazy smoke circled around their cheesy hotel room. Beanpole shakily aimed her gun at the red-head.

She fired.

And missed.

The bullet went right above her ex-husband’s age-spotted head. I rubbed my temples in aggravation. This little idiot…

The old man started jerking and convulsing wildly. The bimbo got up and screamed,

“Who’s there?! What happened! Oh darling what should I do?!”  The gunshot had given the geezer’s heart a little too much of a jumpstart. Beanpole gasped and went over to his side, but he was already gone and couldn’t see her anyway. Suddenly he got up, out of his body. His soul was coming out of his body.

Souls generally look just like what they did when they were living. They aren’t really transparent in any way. The soul looks confused when he sees Beanpole leaning by his side. She gives a bright, teary smile.

“Oh George…I’ve missed you so…” She wipes her tears away. How touching. Well that is until a horrendous ripping sound erupts and a large, swirling shadow grows in the ceiling. The shadow starts growing down the wall and it’s arms shoot out across the floor and up onto the bed, grabbing George’s feet and pulling.

His screams were short and sad as he was drawn towards the pool in the wall. Beanpole leaped into the hole after him.

“I hope they have marriage counseling in hell.” I smirk. Now the only one left was the walking STD. She was still standing next to the bed, half naked and quite pale. She backed up into the wall next to coat hangers. Startled, she jumped away.

“Oh, oh no.” Her gasps were quite hilarious, especially while she started rummaging through the old man’s leather jacket. Finding his wallet, she took out the cash and replaced it in his left-breast pocket.

Sirens blared down the street, coming right to the hotel. Bimbo Bereta panicked and ran out the sliding door going outside.

“How peculiar.”  Investigator Loddesdale looked down at the body of a red-headed beauty. The team had come down after hearing a gunshot at a notorious hotel that was often the hot-spot for affairs and such. White speeding into the parking lot this crazy woman came running out of an apartment half naked and waving her hands around. She ran right out into the way of Loddesdale’s cruiser and bumped off of the hood of his car, knocking her down to the asphalt. Her head caved in on contact, the death was quick.

I giggled wickedly, “Speed bump.” 

To my great horror it was then that the transformation decided to take over.