The Epic Story of The Quest pt26

‘So!’ snapped Astro-Captain Scabs. ‘So. Sooooo’, he continued, looking rather smug. ’We meet AGAIN! And th’ odds are stacked in my favour I see’.

‘Oh, you scallywag! You think I’m going to take this lying down?’ spat Captain Charlotte.

‘No, I’d rather hoped you’d be standing,’ as he said this, the cosmetics laden Cassius unchained Charlotte. ‘I hope yeh’ll put up a good fight m’good Captain,’ sneered Scab’s, and he threw Charlotte a sword.

With barely a moment to think, Scab’s lunged at Captain Charlotte. Luckily, Charlotte stepped aside, distracted by the alcohol behind the bar, which she saw had been rearranged in her absence. ‘YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!’ She screamed as she swung a heavy blow at Captain Scab’s. Scab’s ducked and Charlotte’s sword shattered the martini glasses on the bar. ‘THOSE WERE ARRANGED IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER!!!!’

‘YER MENTAL!’ bellowed Scab’s, charging at Charlotte, holding his sword like a spear. Charlotte sashayed out of the way, narrowly missed, then in one swift spinning motion she hurled the sword at Captain Scab’s. Her sword brushed past his left shoulder, leaving a deep gash in his upper arm, his Martian Linen jacket torn. The crew advanced forward to protect the Captain, closing in on Charlotte. ‘LAY OFF!’ screamed Astro-Captain Scab’s, looking mildly psychotic. ‘She’s MINE t’kill ‘n’ mine alone!’ Pushing himself off the lush, velvet beanbag the crew backed away. Charlotte, heroic as she is, made a break for the door but Scab’s was quick to react and had her engaged in fierce combat before she could leave. Backing out onto the deck, swords locked together in battle, the crew followed them and watched from the helm. Swords chinking and ringing out into space, both opponents were equally matched and it seemed this duel would never end. But then Captain Scab’s had Charlotte cornered at the stern, both weapons still swinging fiercely.

‘Yer done for ‘Cap’in’, yer’ve lost again!’ jeered the Astro-Captain, as he drew back his sword.

‘Oh, I don’t think so!’ Charlotte yelled, cocky and pompous as ever. She let her sword drop to the ground and Scab’s, suspicious yet pumped with triumph, aimed one final blow at Captain Charlotte, hitting her square in the chest.

For a moment all was silent, as if momentarily suspended in time. Then the Charlotte began to fall, dropping off the end of the Panasonic; doomed to fall endlessly through space. The Astro-Captain turned to face his crew, filled with the euphoria from his final victory; the whole ship began cheering. But their celebrations were cut short when the normally dull Roland spotted a small life boat speeding towards the Eagle-Ship.

‘Captain! LOOK!’ is what he proceeded to shout.

Jumping back on deck and throwing himself to the ship’s edge he looked down to see the damned elusive Captain rowing back towards her ship.

‘Haha! You should’ve marooned me on an island filled with mango fruit instead!’ she mocked, throwing a coconut breast plate that she had been wearing under her shirt at Captain Scab’s.

Scab’s stared for a moment in disbelief. Then he hurled the coconut creation to the ground, his blood boiling. ‘FIRE THE CANNONS! BATTLE STATIONS! OPEN FIRE!!!!’

The whole crew ran into action; cascading through the ship to get to their respective stations. The muscular and sleek, South American pirate known as Marmiduke approached two pirates gibbering to each other by the cannons.

‘You,’ he commanded, pointing at Emily and George. ‘Fire the cannons’.

‘B...but why?’ asked Emily, stupidly.

‘Captain’s orders!’ barked Marmiduke. ‘And it is not your place to ask questions’.

Caving under the harsh glare of the fearsome Marmiduke, Emily begrudgingly lit the Cannons. Luckily the noise of the gun powder was just about loud enough to mask the screams that shot out of the cannon. Emily supposed they’d be alright; thinking that at least they’d died to help protect her, and that, in death, that would comfort them.

*

Kim looked up. Aching and sore, astro armour singed into oblivion, she sat up in the dust and looked around her. There wasn’t much to look at. Fate, it seemed, had wanted her to live and Kim had now found herself speeding through the stars on a small meteorite, heading for some unknown destination. Feeling lucky that any sense of physics had been well forgotten, she breathed in the cool, refreshing air and lit a fire with some of the embers left from her armour. Seething at Emily, scared by the prospect of her final destination, worried for the rest of the crew, and entirely bored, Kim decided to sleep on it.

*

DAY 4

Captain Charlotte had been up all night. Running on caffeine and the sheer thrill of adventure, Charlotte had managed to steer the Eagle-ship well out of the firing line of the Panasonic. Facing a severe crew shortage, she had found herself running around like a mad duck trying to get everything done. Of course as a supreme, and not to mention the world’s FIRST, Astro-Pirate, this all came too naturally to her.

Pouring another bag full of coffee beans into her mouth, she turned the helm and flew the ship upwards. Charlotte wasn’t sure yet what her greater plan was. All she knew was that needed to put as much distance between her and the Panasonic as possible.

*

Jasper regained consciousness some 20 hours after being blown out of the astro-cannon. He opened his eyes to see Johnny threatening to nibble on his over-plump leg.

‘Get out of it!’ he growled as he gave Johnny a sharp kick in the canvas. Jasper proceeded to grumble angrily to himself; of all the people he could choose to be stranded in space with, he wouldn’t have chosen Johnny. On top of being dull witted and disgusting, he was now a painting and couldn’t walk by himself. This meant that Jasper had to put extra effort in, and effort was something that Jasper loathed completely.

‘Well, what do we do now?’ he said bitterly, knowing that the best reply he’d get would be for Johnny to lick himself. Sighing heavily, he kicked over a small rock. Jasper did a double take. Stuck to the bottom of the rock was a discarded piece of plastic packaging. Picking up the packet Jasper mouthed ‘Moon Pie?’ as he read, and lifting his head he looked out into the sky. His mouth fell open. There in the distance was the unmistakeable sight of Earth, beautiful and isolated; hovering alone in the inky blackness of space.

‘Johnny…Hey Johnny! Would you look at this?’ But Johnny was too preoccupied by an attractive looking flag pole, which he was just itching to tinkle on. Jasper gaped at the sight of the Star Spangled Banner.

‘Johnny,’ he breathed ‘I think we’re on the Moon!’