The Diary of Samy Allen

The Diary of Samy Allen

Chapter III.  My Escape to Dream-world.

November 4^th of 07

Dear Diary,

            Today holds the shadow of yesterday, and the worries that tomorrow might bring.  Because mom didn’t get paid, I went without eating today.  My stomach is knotting and my muscles tighten, my head feels light, and my hands quiver as I write.  This time it isn’t so bad, I’ve gotten used to it.  It still hurts though.  Francis and Amber asked why I didn’t have any lunch, I just told them I wasn’t hungry; I don’t want them thinking our family is too poor to even supply the necessities of life.  I know we aren’t living in the lap of luxury, and everyone else knows that too, but I want to at least take pride in the knowledge that my family can afford their own food.  Some people may think I’m silly for caring, but I can’t take pride in much, so this is one of those few things I can.  Well, besides fibbing to my friends about lunch, not much happened at school, just the usual.  I had planned to bring up the audition and dance class to my mom when I got home, but when arriving home, I found a note saying “be back at eleven, don’t wait up, it’s a school night GET YOUR SLEEP.” Then I found an additional note from Rob saying that he had gone to an audition. So my plans were foiled to say the least. And on top of that, Kert was over again.  This time Casey and him where arguing over how he never “really” listens to her, and how she needs more romance and less physical love, or something along those lines.  He just laughed at her, and called her a “silly little girl,” and that what she really needed was some discipline because she was “out of line.”  By this time I had quickly made my way to my bedroom and hurriedly locked my door. 

For the next half hour I could hear her yelling at him, and him yelling at her, vice versa, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying, just a few words.  But then, I heard him slap her, she let out a slight scream, and then came a loud thud, she had fallen.  I quickly ran out of my room, but as soon as he caught sight of me, he yelled “you stay out of this,…this doesn’t concern you!”  I was frozen to my spot when I saw my sister; so scared, so wretched looking, her small figure was quaking in fear, and her eyes were wide with shock, her hand lightly placed on the side of her face where she had been struck down. I’ll always remember that look she had then.  “I SAID THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU! Do you need a lesson too?” I woke from my daze at these words, and lowered my head, and backed up, into my room again, but I kept the door cracked.  He then turned on Casey again.  He sauntered over to her, looming, staring, instilling fear and dominance into her petrified eyes.  That one agonizing moment of not knowing what he was going to do next seemed to last hours.  He then quickly, and forcefully grabbed her arms, pinning her to the floor.  She tried to say something, but he yelled “shut up!” I saw her flinch under those piercing words. And her tears began to flow.  “You look so sexy when you’re upset; and you know I can never resist a woman when they’re in tears.” My stomach turned as I heard those disgusting words ooze from his tainted mouth.  He then started to lustfully kiss her; and she tried to resist but he only squeezed her arms harder and I could see her muscles tense, she let out a slight whimper, and then went limp.  His arms then roughly ran over her entire body, and I saw him whispering something into her ear.  She then looked up at him, and with the smallest, most lowly voice, said “no, don’t be sorry,…I was just being stupid, your so sweet, I don’t appreciate you enough.”  Hearing her say this after what he had done to her was almost worse then what he had said.  My body grew cold, and a shiver ran down my spine, because I knew now that he could manipulate her into thinking whatever he wanted.  I couldn’t take anymore, the salty tears gushed from my eyes, and I felt like the world had turned itself upside down, and then it all faded away. 

That is all I remember until I woke up, still next to the door. I tried to get up quickly, but I staggered, my legs gave out, and I had to grab hold of the handle to prevent from falling.  I then slowly opened the door only to find so sign of Casey or Kert.  I quickly ran to her room, but she wasn’t in there either.  My mind jumped to conclusions, and I feared for the worst.  I even thought of calling the police, but then I thought maybe she had just left with him for awhile, and she would be back.  So I waited, and waited, still nothing.  Robert arrived home, I didn’t want to cause unnecessary worry so I just said I didn’t know where Casey was, but left out what had happened earlier.  He just shook his head, gave me a hug, and started mumbling lines from the audition he just been to.  The time crept on and I waited and waited, but she still never showed up.  Meanwhile my mind had reminded my body that I was hungry.  It is now eleven thirty, as I write these words in my diary.  Mom isn’t back yet, it doesn’t worry me, its not unusual; she normally never shows up until at least an hour latter then she says.  My anticipation grows as the time wears on.  And I can feel my body and mind growing faint from hunger.  I know this feeling all too well, my body is trying to cope with it’s shortage, and mind is trying to cope with the stress.  I feel sick, everything is growing hazy.  My stomach is knotting, and churning.  I can’t think straight anymore, I think I may vomit, I can feel it now.  I wonder what could come up? There’s nothing inside me.  False warning, I just had to cough, but now, as I look down at my tissue, I see now that it is stained, stained with blood.  This is interesting I’ve never had that happen before.  I guess the stress of hunger and worry is too much for my body to handle.  The only thing I’ve been able to do during these long hours is to drink water, and wait.  I suddenly feel fatigued, I think,……. I think I should try to sleep.  My worries and pain will pass away as I slip away into a dream-world of my making.

                                                                                                                                    S.J.A               

to be continued...