Forever and Always #8

Written by J.J. © 5, August, 2009

I woke up in the afternoon with a headache that I almost thought was going to crack my head open. I slowley made my way to the bathroom and wet my fingers with toilet water, and then stuck them down my throat, puking untill I got to the yellow stuff.

S was quick to run up and down the house franticly, getting everything organised so we could move the body without anyone knowing. I had all day to feel better before night came, and it was time to move the body.

S sat on the bed, staring down at the floor. "S.. We've got to get this done.."

I sat next to him and rubbed his thigh to comfort him. Slow tears fell down his cheeks, and I could feel him shaking.

"I'm a murderer."

"S.. You saved me.. You're a hero."

He stood up violently, "Let's just get this done." He stormed out of the room. I almost had to run to keep up with him.

Everything was so real now, I was scared.. Of police.. Of S.. Of what was happening.. Of the fact that I was loading a dead persons body into a truck.

We drove for what seemed like forever untill we were deep in the bush. I tryed not to cry, but everything was to much. I felt like I was going to puke or pass out. I was so exaughsted, I just wanted to sleep, I just wanted everything to be the way it was.

I grabbed a shovel, and S and I started digging into the damp ground. It was so cold I felt like my tears were going to freeze on my face like ice.

S's head jerked up, before I knew what was what there was a loud bang. For a second I was in shock, trying to concentrate on what was going on, as the flashlight moved off my face I saw a figure standing infront of me.. A cop.. With a gun.. What did he shoot?

I looked to my side and wished I didn't. This can't be happening, that can't be S.. Why did any of this happen? This wasn't suppost to happen.. No one was suppost to get hurt.

I heard a loud scream, and I didn't realise I was the one screaming untill I found myself collapsed over the top of S, crying my eyes out, begging for him to open his eyes.

"Put your hands up!" The officer demanded.

"You killed him! Please tell me he's not dead!"

I heard a backup cop rumaging around in the truck, I knew he'd find the body, but I didn't care what was going to happen to me anymore.

"S.. S, stop, don't do this to me." I begged as blood sputtered out his mouth and he struggled to breathe.

"Hold on S, I'm going to save you, I promise you'll be alright, I promise.. I promise. Please, just fight this, you know I need you.." I paused, and then I yelled, "I promise!"

I turned around to the police. "Please I'll do what you want, save him!"

"We've already called an ambulence, ma'am. Put your hands in the air!"

I did as he said and he threw cuffs around my wrists, dragging me away from S.

I screamed and kicked, I need to be with him, I have to be with him, he has to make it.. He can't die, not like this.. Not like this.

As they got me to the car, S's struggling stopped. 'He's not dead.. He can't be.. This can't happen.' I told myself, but deep down I knew.

A month later, everything was cleared up. I didn't go to gaol, but it didn't matter.. S was dead, there was nothing left for me.

I locked the bathroom door, maybe if I did it in the house my parents would have to care about me for the first time in my usless life.

I slit my wrist, not to hard. I used the blood to write on the mirror. "I'm coming with you... This is a promise I can keep." The last thing I ever said to him was 'I promise' and I never kept my promise, I never saved him.. But this time I really am coming with him.

I pressed down on my wrist as hard as I could, and slashed it again and again. As my vision blurred, blood gushed out of my wrist, I grew dizzier, and everything was becoming so mellow.. So calming. This was the place I wanted to go to, I didn't know were it was, but I didn't want to be here.

My head hit the floor hard as I collapsed, and I closed my eyes for good.. This was it.. Here I come S.. I

promise.