A Glimpse Into The Past #5

A Glimpse Into The Past

For the next year I stayed out of school. I slept all day and avoided my dad as much as possable. During that year I got my lip pierced and I guess I did a shotty job at staying away from my dad, 'cause he punched me right in the lip.

It was bleeding and the neighbors called the cops, when they got to our place they charged me instead. That's when I learnt my dad really could get away with murder, hell, they'd charge the dead body instead. It's to much work to try and prove he can control himself.

During the year I was out of school I was bored out of my mind. I lived in a village were there was no one my age, only pedos and assholes, and we didn't have a home phone because we couldn't pay for it, we'd lost out internet because we couldn't pay for it, I had no mobile phone because we couldn't pay for it, and for a year straight I had no way of contacting anyone. I was literally locked in a room, and I don't think I ever fully regained my sanity.

When I finally got back into a school we'd got the internet back, I still had no phones though. When I finally talked to Danni, my best firend in the whole world for the first time in a year, she hated me. She'd decided she didn't want to talk to me any more because I always got her in trouble and lost my temper to much.

I moped around in self pitty untill I finally got back into school. I still thought about her, and still do. She's the best friend I'd ever had, but I guess there's nothing I can really do about that. She's a skank and an attention seeker now anyway.

Relatives helped pay for the school, it was a Catholic school. I had to take my lip ring out, which sucked, but I got over it.

By that time I was less emo and more Tom Boy. I only wore boys clothes and they were all black. For the past year I'd been cutting my arms to get attention, but I finally snapped out of the attention seeking phase by the time I got back into school, and I was completley ashamed of the deep scars left on my arms. But then again, I could always beat the crap out of anyone that commented.

As soon as I'd snapped out of the attention seeking phase I descovered what real depression is like. I can't explain it to you, or tell you why I was so depressed, so I'm going to have to cut a bit or the story out again.

One of the things I was always depressed about, and still am, is that I can never change. My whole life I've tryed so hard to stop being so violent, but I just couldn't. I was just... A bad person I guess.

At my new school I met a boy there, his name was Steven. The day we met we agreed on everything, We pretty much had everything in common.

At that school I never got in fights, I yelled at a few people, wagged and walked out of class though, but it was a major improvement and I was kind of... Proud for the first time.

I guess there's not much to tell about that school, besides that I became best friends with Steven. I couldn't stand being away from him for one day.

Everytime I saw him I got butterflys, I knew I'd fallen in love for the first time. I came pretty late in the year and in no time it was time for the year 10s to graduate, and Steven was one of them. I was only in year 8.

One day he came clean and told me he liked me to, I was so happy. He wasn't suppost to be at the school the next day because he was a year 10 but he came anyway, and we kissed for the first time. But.. It wasn't the great first fallen in love kiss I was hoping for, in a matter of seconds some kids popped their heads around the corner, and before I could blink half the school was standing there with them.

We were like the big talk of the school, everyone knew we were in love so I suppose it was pretty big news when we went out.

A teacher told Steven to go away and he stormed off mad, he didn't even bother looking when I called out to him. He jumped the fence and didn't look back for a second.

I gave the teacher a look, and I guess she could see the anger in my eyes. She took a step back, but that was probly because of my bad reputation.