Pushing Through [Chapter One]

Jack Roberts

     I was wondering what the hell she could remember when I she bit down on my hand and I released her, I wasnt normal anymore and she knew it; I was the enemy. I look at her and I wanted so badly to hold her close. I can still feel her body heat clinging to my body and she rubs her arms and looks into my eyes again pained with what was about to come out of her mouth but we both knew was the truth.

     "I was dead." She whispers and the moves forward her finger touching my chin as she lets it trail down to my neck. He touch is like a feathers soft and fragile and everything I'd wanted for the past three years. The urge to touch her is immense but I hold back because she needs realization to hit her not me. "You were dead." She says and puts her palm on my cheek rubbing her thumb under my eye. Her green eyes are intense as she stares at me and I see all of the pain I'd caused her, it was unbearable but I retreated backwards out of her reach. She drops her hand as if she didnt know she'd been touching my skin, and I tap my chest twice and smile at her.

     "Do you remember that, Alice?" I ask and do it again. She nods slowly and does it back to me tears welling up in her eyes as she nods again. I reach forward and push her hair out of her eyes. "I've got a lot of explaining to do." I huff and she laughs suddenly making me laugh with her and it rebounds off the hall walls. I start moving backwards and I crash into someone, Lex. He looks at me his nostrils flairing as he stares intently at her.

       "She smells funky." He growls his deep voice and smells the air again. "Drugs." he says and then moves away his eyes sad as he looks something else, except for me. He know what it feels like to be in this situation.

   "What are you?" I can feel her waves of panic, concern, and curiosity as they hits me full on; it hurts that concern is the most powerful.

    "Human. What else would I be?" I say as I grab her wrist pull her close smashing her ear against my chest where my heart beats madly faster than a normal humans but it still beats. I dont realize I might be hurting her until she trys to pull away from me "Sorry. So you see?" I ask and she rubs her ear putting her hand to her own chest where I glance and then look away. "Don't worry. Your human too." I give her a grin and then I sniff the air and fill myself with her scent.

    "You arnt completely human." She whispers.

    "Nobody ever is."

    "We were dead." The line hangs in the air and she twirls her fingers around each other looking down at the ground. Lex has left like the wind, gone. So much for a normal day of school. I shrug my shoulders even though she cant see me. "I know I was dead; When I opened my eyes they told me that I was the luckiest person and that they didnt know how I could have lived through that." she finishes.

      "Through what? You dont remember anything." I say and I stare at her. She looks up and I can see she believes me, every lie I've ever told everyone believes. She doesnt remember anything. I hold the truth to it all and there was no way I was going to let her get involved in it. He words echo in my head as she looks at me intently, she is my puppet without even the slightest knowledge of it. I am a monster.

      "Yes, We were dead." I say and she begins to play with the edges of her baby blue shirt. I move closer to her so that she is touching my chest, I bring her chin up and make her look into my eyes. The urge to smash my lips on hers plays around my sanity and I give her a crooked grin that I knew she loved; it made her smile every time. I rub my thumb over her bottom lip and the scent washes off her, Need. I bring my forhead closer to hers and I plant a kiss on her nose, anywhere else and she would have gone insane. "but we're alive now, and we will never die again."

     I leave her standing there alone, without me, once more.

     I am in absolute rage, Lex is ontop of me pinning me down and he stabs me with a knife, my blood gushes out all over. He is stronger than me, the pain is unbearable and I thrash as he marks me as his. He pulls the knife out and stabs me again in the other arm slicing through my flesh and bone, I let out an agonized yell as I kick him with all the strength left in my body.

     "You will never disobey me again." he yells. He had spared me back at the school, let me break the rules and talk to her, let me mark myself with her scent. It was his fault not mine and he knew it. My wounds were healing as fast as he opened new ones and he broke my leg twisted it backwards and smashed my face into the ground over and over again. He had been this way longer than I had thought. "A real man doesnt yell." He said as he stood up and stepped back. I dragged myself up and stood staring at him. My leg had healed the wrong way and I would have to break it again to reconstruct it.

     Her smell lingers faintly underneath all the blood that had spilled over me. A small scent of need she had shed replayed in my mind and I crushed my leg myself replacing it the right way. Her smile melted in my gaze and I thought of holding her here with me now.

     I look up at Lex and he looks sadly at me. "We are what we are Jack. We are not human." He says it as if I didnt already know it.

     "What if I want to be human again?" I yell and I smash into him punching his face and stomach stabbing him with the knife he had used on me. He let me do it to him over and over again not once screaming, not yelping, showing no sign of acctually hurting except for the blood gushing from his wounds. I punch the wall instead, over and over again. My tears streaming down my face and mixing with the blood of the two of us.

     "We are what we are." He whispers, and then he is gone, leaving me to agonize over her. I was her worst nightmare and she didnt even know it, all she knew was that I was Jack Robert. Nobody else.