I Never Find The Time To Know

“There is one thing I can’t stand about you; you never leave me alone. Everywhere I go, there you are. Its as if nothing can stop you. I’m tired of the way you speak to me, and of the way you tease me. I’m at a loss for words, Gina, you are not what I expected you to be.”

Erik wrote down his secret and put the post-it in a place he would always remember.

Every second of every day, was depression. The shadow of the artless gazed into his eyes, as the whites ran through the reds. He had a passion for this lustful woman that corrupted every thought in his mind with mortar and pestle. Down into crumbs of desperate sanity, merely brushed off and vacuumed months later after sitting in microscopic corners of the carpeted one-roomed cave of an apartment. We all know, she drove him to the brink of enlightenment, then back again through the Hades‘ gates.

You may be flat, but your breathing.

“Erik,” Gina spoke softly as though only her aura carried the sound. “There are times in which the living shall fall, and the dead shall rise. We all will rise. Your heart will fall.”

What is she talking about?

“The bastards going to have his way with me. Oh lovely, you’re effortless smile in rags and tears bring satisfaction to the tainted. The way you dance brings solace to the heart. But I wouldn’t know. Now sit, for I cannot.”

“Erik, as withered times rage inside me, you must come to me.” Gina tediously moved her artificial eyes to the left and stared Erik down like an unwanted bug. “Erik, in the case of a fire, please evacuate building. Please evacuate building. Erik, fire is bad, leave it alone Erik.” Her voice trailed through the room, as white noblemen on horseback chasing after the witch.

Erik stood timorous in the doorway, motionless, as dim light pillared and burnished over his seemingly lifeless body. And he came. A splinter from the way she sees him. A celluloid dream.

Erik sprung from his bead the next morning, gasping for a lone breath to fill his lungs with life.

Abruptly, his mind caught her standing inches from the bedside. She chants the chant of the twisted, and it stings. He wants to listen, and hates to listen, but somehow can’t help it.

“I’m so deep into you, and i never want to find my way out. The way you love me, haunts me, and I love it. I love you. Everything about you, enchants me, entrances me. In the shade of night, I wish you were there to comfort me. Let me fall into you, let me be with you. Eternally. And I will never let go of this love. For I will always be diving into you.”

Gina moved slowly from side to side, as though only Erik could notice the subtle swing.

Erik grabbed the nearest pen, and while Gina’s eyes were shut, he wrote down “stalker” on a piece of paper, and hid it where he would always remember.

“Come and find me, Erik!” Gina ran away so quickly, stumbling to the ground twice, but making not a sound. Just as she left the room, she forced her head to turn, and spoke in poetic words that shut out what others have said. “Alas, my love, your fate appears within mine eyes, to lead thou astray, upon hopes, and dreams.”

Why am I here?

“Gina, no more games,” Erik whispered to himself. Mumbled in with the thought of the deceased, living under his bed.

“But I like games.” Her voice rang through the halls of his head, banging like a child on a hot tin roof.

“You do nothing but pretend with me, Gina.” His voice began to elevate with thunderous sound, even Thor couldn’t challenge. His eye quivered in the awkward silence.

Why must the animals keep singing?

Gina came forth from the dark of the damp kitchen, her blond synthetic hair dripping fresh over the unnatural skin. Stretched and strained as if pulled, and slapped, and waxed. Reflecting the light, as lovers do, Erik noticed her stare, and coiled himself in a whimpering knot, but continued to ramble on.

“The moment you gave me all that I own, a collapsing alienation took me…Now nothing more that dirt resides in my mentality.”

Erik dropped his head in the hopes of obliterating what once was had. He drew his hands to his face and counted aloud, eyes pinched as dry, salted almonds. “One, two, three, four, five….“ Erik dilapidated blissfully into quiescence. Pondering the error of this woman with new life, upon old remains.

Erik began to pant violently, curled and shaking in a disassembled mess. His hand gently caressed a blade hidden behind his back. Hidden for years, for this moment where dreams reach reality, and mind finds peace in being, the apprentice of the wizard with no soul.

Shouting in sullenness, Erik thrusted a long sharp blade above his head, and brought it down with the power of gods into his side.

He keeled over in agonizing pain, screaming for the help which Gina could not give. She stood, towering over his leaking body, and laughed.

“Sweet Erik, so sorrowful, so mindless, so cheap.” his screams begin to wane.

Her painted eyes did not even see it coming.

The crying ceased.

The gasoline leaked.

Erik lifted his head to meet her own, and chanted the song, his sanity drew upon him in dreams. The only one thing he remembered about the days of which the ghost did come to warn of bitterness abroad.

Even god feared the voice-

And he danced around the words, and sang:

“Condemned inside a silenced stone
A candle waits to be released
Among the flickers and the moans
A wicked angel there did cease
Burning within the deadly night
she ponders of the days did pass
A shallow well of weaving light
Brings death upon the summer lass
With golden hair and lovely face
A deeply cindered fire did show
She cursed the angels resting place
Far buried in the stone below
With broken wing she flew away
The lass now trapped to this dear day”

Erik, wounded and drowned in his own red blood, released an urge withheld in flame, upon the mantle of his mind. The bastards going to have his way with her.

Take her to the kitchen.

“In case of a fire, please evacuate building, please, evacuate building…” He stumbled over the words, trying to remember. But nearly could not.

Erik, in a fit of rage, threw Gina’s feather light body onto the kitchen floor.

let it consume you, young one.

He lit the closest burner atop the hellfire stove. The orange fire deliberately rose higher. And higher. And higher. He brought his fingers to his face, and viciously giggled.

“Erik, I love you.” Gina coughed, and gagged. He voice never mangled the silence, and he wondered why.

“I am merely the bringer of death upon the summer lass.” he mumbled under his breath.

Her body is the shrine that must terminate.

Brought unto flames, she sank into the world unknown, as he chanted, “in case of a fire, please evacuate building.”

In case of fire, please evacuate mind

Only moments after, the burning pit before him threw ashes about the room. At his feet, one paper hung to his shoe.

I love you

Erik gazed at his foot, as the paper cried out. His fingers lightly picked up it’s remains, and the word was still visible upon the once glorious post-it note.

Stalker