Everyone Wears Shirts... but me. (Chapter 1)- "Grape Juice Elephant"

You know that kid, that kid that eats pop corn in the 5th row of the movie theatre? But he isn't really a kid. He has a mustache. So, he might be a man. But you like to think he is a kid. then someone smacks the back of your head for looking at a kid, when your not suppose to 'cause your old and bald, and old people shouldn't look at kids?

Well, I once was a kid like that. I ate pop corn until my nose blode and my sister screamed. Why, they use to call me "Poppy the maniac of pop corn"!

They'd say, "Yo, pop corn boy. shove these pop corns up your nose! AND ANUS!"

I would respond, "surely!"

shoving pop corn up your nose is fun and all, it was shoving pop corn up the anus I never really cared for.

Anywho, I use to wear shirts. But then, one day, I didn't feel like wearing a shirt.

And this is my story of not wearing a shirt.

I was snorting pop corn outside the principal's office. He was in there giving Caroline a beating for looking stupid. And spilling Welch's grape juice all over his weener!

wasn't intentional at all, she was just going off about how she could live out as an elephant if she wanted to. I told her that was bullshit. so, she downed a 2-ounce bottle of welch's grape juice, stood tall, and screamed while spatting out juice all over the cafeteria. which happened to go on the principal's weener.

I laughed, which is why I now sit outside his office.

A couple more minutes went by, a couple more popcorns up my nose, and Caroline came outta the office.

grunting, "if only he kept his weener in his pants, guh! boy!"

Principal tend to let his little fellow flop out his zipper. No one had a problem with it, kids thought it was funny and teachers replied it as "easy access"

Not sure what that meant.

"POP CORN MANIAC, COME IN MY OFFICE SO I CAN BEAT YOU FOR LAUGHING AT MY WEENER GETTING GRAPE JUICE ON IT!"

off I went, into the dragon's lair....

"Sure thing, Principal FARTbooger!"

He yelled, "THAT'S PRINCIPAL ADAMS, YOU TARD!", with that, he yanked me in.