My Stories
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6
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Fiction From Fact (#2) |
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23
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Unexpected Visitor. |
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28
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Dolores Evangeline Taitt Williams |
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16
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Who Am I? |
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25
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Fiction From Fact |
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25
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Incognnito |
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19
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Final Letter |
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24
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Reap |
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19
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Nastay's tips on how to not piss me off! |
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26
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Tips On How To Survive In Horror/Sci-Fi/Thriller Movies . |
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Nastay's tips on how to not piss me off!
Creative
 Created on 7-5-07
 Views(423)
 Story Rating G
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The following are tips on how to keep yourself in good health when associating with me.
Tip one: Don't fuck with the audio levels on my Stereo. Very simple people. If is isn't to your liking that is fine as well. You may catch me on a rare good day and I would be willing to change my settings just for you. However if not and you decide to get all stank on me. well, you don't have to go home but you do got's to get the hell outta my place.
Tip two: Do not take it upon yourself to just start grabbing at my muthafuckin' food! The hell wrong with you!? That's a sure fire way to find me catching you in the jaw real quick. Now it isn't that I don't want to share. I love sharing. All you would have to do is simple and can be explained in one word, Ask. That's it. Unless we fuckin' Don't assume you can automatically take what's mine. You see a dog eating and you know the other dogs wont touch. The principle is the same. If a dog was to attempt to it is a sign of disrespect. Just ask. Taking from my plate is a privilege and only those I am closest with have the privilege of taking without asking. Shit people I am really close with I will still ask. I know the answer is likely yes but I still extend the courtesy regardless.
Tip three: Sort of an extension to the former. When in my house, RESPECT MY HOUSE!!! I'll say what I mean, plain and simple. If invited that means that I have a level of respect and trust in you. When inside my abode, I shall either say "Make yourself comfortable" or "Make yourself at home" Now don't confuse the two. Make yourself comfy means just that. To relax. The ladder means just that as well. Feel like this is your home. Now that don't mean to start walking around in your boxers and scratchin' your balls on my couch and now I got stray ball hairs lurking about. 'Cause I'll stomp you in your throat. Women as well. Y'all are known for sitting down and pulling one leg up under you getting your shoes all over my knock-off couch fabrics. Woman you know where your feet's been. Now it ain't my style to swing on a woman, but if you do that in my home, I will treat you in the same fashion as Uncle Phil treated Jazz from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire and toss you out the front door onto your ass!
Furthermore if you are walking about and you want to look at something you can look but done be nosy. Curious is fine. Nosy will get you killed. So don't be opening my medicine cabinet. If you see a closed door, Leave it closed. There is a purpose for the door being closed. So if you decide to venture through the door and down the stairs to the basement and find some emaciated people tied up with portions of flesh missing, take a wild guess at who wont be making it back up the stairs? Keep yourself alive ok.?
Lastly, if you back up my toilet with your stank ass feces and don't even try to clean it up like you can't find the plunger or the damn brush to break it up, I'll find your ass and slap you with a bag of your own feces. Then everyone will know u got "shit slapped"! There's a reason they call me nastay.
Tip four: Please for your own safety. Do not interrupt me when I am talking. Please.. If there is a group of us talking and I have something to say I shall wait until whomever's talking to finish and state my peace. Now admittedly I can get rather exited and inadvertently interrupt someone however 9.99999999999999999999999987 times out of ten I can catch myself and apologize. the other.00000000000000000000000013 is someone bringing it to my attention and i correct myself. I ain't perfect but I do what I can. But if you cut me off and don't apologize I may either let it slide or speak to you as an adult and explain that I haven't finished my thoughts yet. A second time and I will definitely inform you that I am talking and my tone will show annoyance or sternness. A third time and that to me shows that you have little to no respect for me and if I believe that then.. HAHAA! Someone's gonna get their feelings hurt for real. Now keep in mind this is a bit flexible due to there are some I recognize are super hyper all of the time and it cannot be helped. But there are some of your muthafucka's who has something to say and decides to say it regardless of who is talking and that is disrespectful. I then will get either quiet or vicious or some level in between. Be patient. we will all have a turn.
Tip five: Do not! DO NOT!! Use the word nigger, nigga, nagga, to me, at me, or around me in general...I abhor the word with a passion. It may be your belief that the word is used to often that it has lost it's effect or whatever....Bullshit!!! The word had plenty of power and is plenty hurtful. Now again I admit in my past I used it rather frequently. There probably wasn't a 4 hour period that went by without me using it. One morning I woke up and just thought. I'm a thinker. I try to maintain consistency to the best of my ability. I knew the history behind the word and yet I continued to employ it in my every day routine. I thought to myself why. Also I strongly dislike Double-Standards. I was feeling like a Hypocrite because I would use it and get mad when other's used it. Other's meaning non blacks. I say blacks because not all blacks are African American so that doesn't offend me.. But like I was saying I can't get mad at someone for using a hateful word or any variation of it and then going around using it myself. I was angry with myself. Very. I opted to refrain from using it. And I haven't I may use the word negro from time to time but that is about the extent of it. I find a lot of people using it casually and I am perplexed by it. However this is still a free country so they have every right to say it if that is their wish. To those of you who do, feel free to I don't have to like it, but I do respect your constitutional privilege to use it. My only request is to show some restraint when around me for i'd rather not hear it. Simple I think. Accidental slip up's are going to happen but be mindful please.
Tip six: Do not Turn your nose up at me and/or look down on me. While I am not the religious type I do strongly believe in the whole "Do unto other's" bit. I Always treat people with some level of respect. And I respect it in kind. I try to treat everyone as equals. That's the way I was raised. I could care less If your are gay or into death metal or a barnyard porn lover. I actually look for unique people to converse with. Different people will yield different stories. So respect me and I'll do the same. See the theme here yet? I am a very kind and considerate person but do not be fooled. If disrespected in just the right way, you will most assuredly feel how venomous I can be. Trust me. My words make razors feel like cotton swabs. Challenge me if you like.
Tip seven: Do not ask me to do something you can do yourself but are simply too lazy to do on your own. I.e. programming various devices around the house. So if I am not there you are gonna do without. Here's a secret. I figured it out by simply trial and error. That learning tool has been around for ohhhh i think a billion years or so? Dinosaurs and their acorn brains could do this why cant a representative of the dominant animal on the planet? (to those that didn't get what I just said, I am referring to humans) I push a button and see what happens. I push another and see what happens. So on and so forth. You know cause and effect? Cold hand and hot stove? Ring a bell? Not to mention that lets use a dvd for example the symbols on it are fundamentally the same symbols that were on beta's and vcr's. Nearly 30 years of the same patterns and you can't figure out how to pause? Seriously. Come on now. How about pushing a button and see if you get lucky. See how good it feels to do something on your own instead of having your hand held like a 5 year old.. All it takes is a little thing called effort. Try it.
Tip eight: Do not fuck with me while I am sleeping. My body is recharging and when that is interrupted I am angry and very volatile. It takes a whole lot of rest for me to be all happy go lucky and all that other shit. Some mild shit is fine like maybe tickling my nose or something is hmmmm tolerable. But to write shit on me and insert things or some other weird shit like that will get everyone fucked up. Believe that. Even if you didn't partake in it. You were there and did't stop it. Hence your inaction is causing my action.
Tip nine: Don't write checks your ass has no intention of cashing. I.e. threatening me. Don't do it to yourself. I'll slap fire out of you. Shit I ain't no sucka!
Tip ten: If we are arguing I am likely trying to find a neutral resolution. Do not begin to ignore me. You are an adult should be able to handle adult situations as such. If not then Michael is looking for more recruits for his neverland ranch. You'd better off there if you want to be childish. I don't fuck with kids. Ignoring me because I said something to hurt your is valid but if it's because you just want to be difficult then Fuck you. I'm a grown ass man and refuse to follow you up.
Tip eleven: Kind of a spin-off to number ten. Do not perform acts of spite towards me or someone we mutually know. It's harsh and wicked and fucked up. If you are cool with someone or love them or whatever, when you actively decide to do something that would cause them harm whether it be financially or physically or emotionally, you are being spiteful. These are acts that we as a people are far above. Yet some of y'all do these things and don't care and attempt to reason away your actions. It would be find if you simply did something to someone to demonstrate that their actions were in the wrong then that is fine. However that is a very shaky fence. it's very easy to go from a lesson to something more menacing. I won't do it to your. Do not do it to me. 'Cause I guarantee you If I decided to play your game of spite you'd not like the end result. I can be far more cruel than most would dare give me credit for....I am rather creative as well. I choose not to behave in such manner. That doesn't mean I haven't thought about it.
Tip twelve: Do not guilt trip me. There was a time where that shit would work no problem. I recognize it for what it is now. If you do something for me and It is a kind deed as you say, then I shouldn't have to hear it again when you ask me for a favor that for whatever reason I am not able to perform for you. To me that implies that you only helped me out initially because you felt that one day you could get me to do something for you. Using that kind deed as leverage cheapens the deed and cheapens you. Makes me lose respect for you as well. If I can help you out man/woman, then I shall If I can and you try to make me feel guilty, you are only making it easier for me to say no.
Tip thirteen: No is No muthafucka's period. Do not beg. I don't even want my dog begging so don't beg me for shit. Likewise I wont beg for shit either. I'll ask once, Maybe twice. Won't catch me doing it a third time. Three times or more is begging.
If you are female and we are getting "jiggy" so to speak, don't say no if you are only playing some sexual role. 'Cause i'll stop. Shit I ain't no rapist.
Tip fourteen: Back the fuck up!!! My personal space is just that. Personal. I only let a select few get within arm's length. You likely are not one of them. Now that doesn't necessarily mean that I dislike you. Not at all but it may mean that you have a severe case of halitosis and I have no intention of receiving a burning sensation through my nostrils. sorry guy. If I can swing and catch you in the jaw then you're too close mon ami.
There is likely more but I cannot think of any at the moment. Just respect me overall and I will respect you. simple I believe. Be well all.
Tip one: Don't fuck with the audio levels on my Stereo. Very simple people. If is isn't to your liking that is fine as well. You may catch me on a rare good day and I would be willing to change my settings just for you. However if not and you decide to get all stank on me. well, you don't have to go home but you do got's to get the hell outta my place.
Tip two: Do not take it upon yourself to just start grabbing at my muthafuckin' food! The hell wrong with you!? That's a sure fire way to find me catching you in the jaw real quick. Now it isn't that I don't want to share. I love sharing. All you would have to do is simple and can be explained in one word, Ask. That's it. Unless we fuckin' Don't assume you can automatically take what's mine. You see a dog eating and you know the other dogs wont touch. The principle is the same. If a dog was to attempt to it is a sign of disrespect. Just ask. Taking from my plate is a privilege and only those I am closest with have the privilege of taking without asking. Shit people I am really close with I will still ask. I know the answer is likely yes but I still extend the courtesy regardless.
Tip three: Sort of an extension to the former. When in my house, RESPECT MY HOUSE!!! I'll say what I mean, plain and simple. If invited that means that I have a level of respect and trust in you. When inside my abode, I shall either say "Make yourself comfortable" or "Make yourself at home" Now don't confuse the two. Make yourself comfy means just that. To relax. The ladder means just that as well. Feel like this is your home. Now that don't mean to start walking around in your boxers and scratchin' your balls on my couch and now I got stray ball hairs lurking about. 'Cause I'll stomp you in your throat. Women as well. Y'all are known for sitting down and pulling one leg up under you getting your shoes all over my knock-off couch fabrics. Woman you know where your feet's been. Now it ain't my style to swing on a woman, but if you do that in my home, I will treat you in the same fashion as Uncle Phil treated Jazz from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire and toss you out the front door onto your ass!
Furthermore if you are walking about and you want to look at something you can look but done be nosy. Curious is fine. Nosy will get you killed. So don't be opening my medicine cabinet. If you see a closed door, Leave it closed. There is a purpose for the door being closed. So if you decide to venture through the door and down the stairs to the basement and find some emaciated people tied up with portions of flesh missing, take a wild guess at who wont be making it back up the stairs? Keep yourself alive ok.?
Lastly, if you back up my toilet with your stank ass feces and don't even try to clean it up like you can't find the plunger or the damn brush to break it up, I'll find your ass and slap you with a bag of your own feces. Then everyone will know u got "shit slapped"! There's a reason they call me nastay.
Tip four: Please for your own safety. Do not interrupt me when I am talking. Please.. If there is a group of us talking and I have something to say I shall wait until whomever's talking to finish and state my peace. Now admittedly I can get rather exited and inadvertently interrupt someone however 9.99999999999999999999999987 times out of ten I can catch myself and apologize. the other.00000000000000000000000013 is someone bringing it to my attention and i correct myself. I ain't perfect but I do what I can. But if you cut me off and don't apologize I may either let it slide or speak to you as an adult and explain that I haven't finished my thoughts yet. A second time and I will definitely inform you that I am talking and my tone will show annoyance or sternness. A third time and that to me shows that you have little to no respect for me and if I believe that then.. HAHAA! Someone's gonna get their feelings hurt for real. Now keep in mind this is a bit flexible due to there are some I recognize are super hyper all of the time and it cannot be helped. But there are some of your muthafucka's who has something to say and decides to say it regardless of who is talking and that is disrespectful. I then will get either quiet or vicious or some level in between. Be patient. we will all have a turn.
Tip five: Do not! DO NOT!! Use the word nigger, nigga, nagga, to me, at me, or around me in general...I abhor the word with a passion. It may be your belief that the word is used to often that it has lost it's effect or whatever....Bullshit!!! The word had plenty of power and is plenty hurtful. Now again I admit in my past I used it rather frequently. There probably wasn't a 4 hour period that went by without me using it. One morning I woke up and just thought. I'm a thinker. I try to maintain consistency to the best of my ability. I knew the history behind the word and yet I continued to employ it in my every day routine. I thought to myself why. Also I strongly dislike Double-Standards. I was feeling like a Hypocrite because I would use it and get mad when other's used it. Other's meaning non blacks. I say blacks because not all blacks are African American so that doesn't offend me.. But like I was saying I can't get mad at someone for using a hateful word or any variation of it and then going around using it myself. I was angry with myself. Very. I opted to refrain from using it. And I haven't I may use the word negro from time to time but that is about the extent of it. I find a lot of people using it casually and I am perplexed by it. However this is still a free country so they have every right to say it if that is their wish. To those of you who do, feel free to I don't have to like it, but I do respect your constitutional privilege to use it. My only request is to show some restraint when around me for i'd rather not hear it. Simple I think. Accidental slip up's are going to happen but be mindful please.
Tip six: Do not Turn your nose up at me and/or look down on me. While I am not the religious type I do strongly believe in the whole "Do unto other's" bit. I Always treat people with some level of respect. And I respect it in kind. I try to treat everyone as equals. That's the way I was raised. I could care less If your are gay or into death metal or a barnyard porn lover. I actually look for unique people to converse with. Different people will yield different stories. So respect me and I'll do the same. See the theme here yet? I am a very kind and considerate person but do not be fooled. If disrespected in just the right way, you will most assuredly feel how venomous I can be. Trust me. My words make razors feel like cotton swabs. Challenge me if you like.
Tip seven: Do not ask me to do something you can do yourself but are simply too lazy to do on your own. I.e. programming various devices around the house. So if I am not there you are gonna do without. Here's a secret. I figured it out by simply trial and error. That learning tool has been around for ohhhh i think a billion years or so? Dinosaurs and their acorn brains could do this why cant a representative of the dominant animal on the planet? (to those that didn't get what I just said, I am referring to humans) I push a button and see what happens. I push another and see what happens. So on and so forth. You know cause and effect? Cold hand and hot stove? Ring a bell? Not to mention that lets use a dvd for example the symbols on it are fundamentally the same symbols that were on beta's and vcr's. Nearly 30 years of the same patterns and you can't figure out how to pause? Seriously. Come on now. How about pushing a button and see if you get lucky. See how good it feels to do something on your own instead of having your hand held like a 5 year old.. All it takes is a little thing called effort. Try it.
Tip eight: Do not fuck with me while I am sleeping. My body is recharging and when that is interrupted I am angry and very volatile. It takes a whole lot of rest for me to be all happy go lucky and all that other shit. Some mild shit is fine like maybe tickling my nose or something is hmmmm tolerable. But to write shit on me and insert things or some other weird shit like that will get everyone fucked up. Believe that. Even if you didn't partake in it. You were there and did't stop it. Hence your inaction is causing my action.
Tip nine: Don't write checks your ass has no intention of cashing. I.e. threatening me. Don't do it to yourself. I'll slap fire out of you. Shit I ain't no sucka!
Tip ten: If we are arguing I am likely trying to find a neutral resolution. Do not begin to ignore me. You are an adult should be able to handle adult situations as such. If not then Michael is looking for more recruits for his neverland ranch. You'd better off there if you want to be childish. I don't fuck with kids. Ignoring me because I said something to hurt your is valid but if it's because you just want to be difficult then Fuck you. I'm a grown ass man and refuse to follow you up.
Tip eleven: Kind of a spin-off to number ten. Do not perform acts of spite towards me or someone we mutually know. It's harsh and wicked and fucked up. If you are cool with someone or love them or whatever, when you actively decide to do something that would cause them harm whether it be financially or physically or emotionally, you are being spiteful. These are acts that we as a people are far above. Yet some of y'all do these things and don't care and attempt to reason away your actions. It would be find if you simply did something to someone to demonstrate that their actions were in the wrong then that is fine. However that is a very shaky fence. it's very easy to go from a lesson to something more menacing. I won't do it to your. Do not do it to me. 'Cause I guarantee you If I decided to play your game of spite you'd not like the end result. I can be far more cruel than most would dare give me credit for....I am rather creative as well. I choose not to behave in such manner. That doesn't mean I haven't thought about it.
Tip twelve: Do not guilt trip me. There was a time where that shit would work no problem. I recognize it for what it is now. If you do something for me and It is a kind deed as you say, then I shouldn't have to hear it again when you ask me for a favor that for whatever reason I am not able to perform for you. To me that implies that you only helped me out initially because you felt that one day you could get me to do something for you. Using that kind deed as leverage cheapens the deed and cheapens you. Makes me lose respect for you as well. If I can help you out man/woman, then I shall If I can and you try to make me feel guilty, you are only making it easier for me to say no.
Tip thirteen: No is No muthafucka's period. Do not beg. I don't even want my dog begging so don't beg me for shit. Likewise I wont beg for shit either. I'll ask once, Maybe twice. Won't catch me doing it a third time. Three times or more is begging.
If you are female and we are getting "jiggy" so to speak, don't say no if you are only playing some sexual role. 'Cause i'll stop. Shit I ain't no rapist.
Tip fourteen: Back the fuck up!!! My personal space is just that. Personal. I only let a select few get within arm's length. You likely are not one of them. Now that doesn't necessarily mean that I dislike you. Not at all but it may mean that you have a severe case of halitosis and I have no intention of receiving a burning sensation through my nostrils. sorry guy. If I can swing and catch you in the jaw then you're too close mon ami.
There is likely more but I cannot think of any at the moment. Just respect me overall and I will respect you. simple I believe. Be well all.
Comments
Please Login to post comments| On May 13th 2009 Kymburleighx3 Said: |
| So dougy, I would violate all of those without knowing. Yet you adore me? I don't have any regard for anyone's space. I will take food off of your plate and make puppy dog eyes if you get angry. I have used the N word around you, even though I hate it, you made me put you in my phone as favorite negro. And I'm most positive I've interrupted you while you were talkingg. |
| On November 29th 2008 FireAngel420 Said: |
| now see I need people to understand that shit around my town and stop by we got some fuckin idiots that think it is funny to mess with peoples shit and eat peoples food, and the list goes on....but I agree with everything you said |
| On November 15th 2008 caughtbysonnet Said: |
| Yessir! :) Very understandable xx |
| On October 20th 2008 Beliathor Said: |
| I never saw this side of yourself... anyhow,I agree with all of them :) |
| On October 16th 2008 barbarian1 Said: |
| verry nice, i totally understand those. :) |
| On July 1st 2008 Liz912 Said: |
| Hehe, didn't your read this one to Vera and I? Yeah, it made me laugh, very well written. I'd be breakin' half of those rules though. ^.^ |
| On December 10th 2007 California1516 Said: |
| WOAHHHHHHH num two..is totally me too..i HATE when ppl steal my food..in 7th grade i used to cry cuz this one girl used to steal my food..or touch it with her germy fingers..but i will share if ppl ask...this was SOOOOOO hilariously funny..esp tip num. 3 hahaha..i actually lol'd! :D |
| On November 17th 2007 lisaljb Said: |
| lol damn, I more then agree with all of the above of what you said. I like this forward to the point, haha got my head on straight. Great piece of work. |
| On November 14th 2007 reapersheart Said: |
| i liked it lol if Loki doesn't like it he doesn't need to read it again |
| On November 4th 2007 EvilRaven9892 Said: |
| Well I liked it! So fuck off yo! |
| On October 24th 2007 chubb5 Said: |
| LOL lokiseto go to hell! this is by FAR the best thing i've read on this damned site since day 1. this had me laughing more than once, in the best way possible, i assure you |
| On July 5th 2007 LokiSeto Said: |
| IS this a story? If not... then take it to a blog site man. This isn't needed here. |
