The sweet life of Georgie. [1]

Everything seemed to fall to pieces with the snap of a finger. Nothing made sense anymore, life was unbearable, and people easily became intolerable. Chaos was the only word that truly seemed to fit. My best friend was mad at me for shutting him out, my mom tearing me apart daily, my dad never caring, and my sister a hardcore druggie. It was all just slipping out of control, building up, and breaking me down.
I had nowhere to go, nothing to do, and no clue as to how to fix things. The only person that ever helped me was Georgie, but he was no longer talking to me.
The air was cold, the ground damp, the sky dark, and the neighborhood quiet as I walked miles away from home. My jeans tattered with holes and gashes, my shirt a thin fabric, and my sweatshirt so raggedy it was practically useless. Racking my brain for what to say when I reached my destination. Nothing seemed to come to mind. What was I doing? I was only going to get the door slammed in my face. I’d pushed him to far; I made him give up on me. Wanting him to understand, wanting him to care, that was all I ever really asked for. Whenever I received it, however, it was never enough. My feelings for him always got in the way. I didn’t just want to be his friend, I didn’t just want him to care, I wanted compassion, I wanted truth, I wanted trust, and most importantly I wanted love.
The house came into view, and I made my way up the driveway. No light came from the windows, everyone seemed to be asleep, which was expected considering it was one in the morning. Minutes seemed to pass and I just stood there, unable to think. You do realize that you’re going to have to knock sometime right? My mind questioned. Might as well do it now instead of freezing to death.
A sigh escaped my lips as I knocked on the wooden door. Minutes later a light turned on and a tall shadowy figure appeared in the window. The door opened and Georgie stood there wiping his eyes, I’d obviously woken him up.
“Ali? What are you doing here?” he mumbled.
Tears formed in my eyes, and my voice began to shake from the cold and anguish, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you away. Everything is only getting worse. Look you gave up on me, and I understand,” I paused as the tears began to pour from my eyes. “But I’m not giving up on you. You’re my best friend, and I have nowhere else to go.”
He merely stood there for a moment, letting everything sink in. I began to cry even harder. To panicked for everything to make sense. I mean, here I was apologizing on his doorstep, crying like I never do, and three miles from home, all at one in the morning in the freezing cold. Yet all he could do was stand there? I knew I’d made a mistake. I turned to leave, but his hand gripped my shoulder.
“I haven’t given up on you.” He finally responded.
“You haven’t?” I turned to face him.
His arms wrapped around me tightly, “Of course not,” I buried my face in his shirt and closed my eyes. Relief was all I could feel. “Now get in here, it’s cold.”
“I agree.” I mumbled and followed him inside.
Georgie’s house was elaborate in design,it was elegantly decorated. It was all just so obstrtucted. His family was easy going, and his parents practically considered me their daughter. We made our way to his room. I immediately climbed in his bed and found my favorite spot up against the wall. It was already warm; apparently he’d been sleeping there. He shut his door then climbed in beside me.
“Hey! That was my spot.” He whined.
“To bad, it’s mine now.” I teased.
He wrapped his arms around me, and I did the same to him. It wasn’t unusual for us to stay at one another’s houses, nor was it abnormal for us to share beds and cuddle. We were just affectionate like that I guess you could say. Most people either thought we were together, or thought that we should be together because we already acted like we were. I couldn’t agree with them more, but I never let him know how I felt about him. It’d only make things awkward for us.
“What happened this time?” asked Georgie.
I sighed and let go of him, “My mom and I got into a fight, like always, but dad joined in this time. I’m so sick of being attacked; I don’t do anything to bother them. I’m not even allowed to defend myself.”
“Just ignore them.”
“Georgie, you know that’s impossible with my family.”
“Okay, maybe it is, but I don’t know what to tell you, I’m tired!” he complained.
“Your always tired.”
Silence filled the room. Something inside me kept me awake, and despite the room being dark, I could feel his eyes on me.
“Get up!” a voice yelled in my ear. I wasn’t even aware I’d fallen asleep.
“Five more minutes.” I grumbled.
“NOW!” Gerogie practically screamed at me.
“Leave me alone.” I opened my eyes to see him grab a pillow.
“Up! Now!” he yelled as he chucked it at me.
“Georgie! NO!” I yelled and pulled the blankets over my head. This whole ordeal was simply frustrating me. He grabbed another pillow and threw it, I felt it bounce off my hip. “George! STOP ATTACKING ME!” I yelled after I got up enough courage to peer out from under the blankets.
A mischievous grin spread across his face. Instantly I knew what he was about to do, however, I had no time to prepare for it. Immediately, I pulled the blanket above my head and screamed. He jumped on top of me, his needs jamming into my sides.
“Get up! Get up! Get up!” he started to jump on his bed, occasionally jumping on me.
“What on earth is going on in here?” I heard his mother say.
The screams stopped, as did the jumping. Georgie sat down on me by accident.
“Get off me!” I yelled through the covers.
“Oops, sorry.” He mumbled as he moved.
“Whose under there?” his mom questioned.
I threw the blankets off me, “Hi Mrs. MacNeil.”
“Oh Ali, hi. I didn’t know you were here. Is Georgie giving you a hard time?” she smiled kindly.
“Of course he is, it’s Georgie.”
“Yeah! It’s me,” he added and I merely rolled my eyes.
She chuckled as she walked away. I sat up and looked at him. A smug grin appeared on his face.
I clenched my fist and punched him full force in his right arm, “Jerk! You hurt me!”
“Ali, that hurt and was highly uncalled for.” he whined as he grabbed his throbbing arm, I shoved him over and stood up.
“Well-how-do-you-like-that?” I said forcefully between jumps.
He pulled me down by my legs. Once I was at his level, he pulled me closer, my legs behind him, and his behind me, our noses touching, his ice blue eyes staring into mine. It was always hard to stay serious when this happened, and eventually we were both giggling uncontrollably.
My heart skipped a beat. There was something about him, about the way he looked at me; it made me feel something special. Not one emotion in particular, but a whole bunch, and all at once. Just one glance from him, and I’d have the biggest smile on my face. Everything about him made me happy. As we sat there, giggling hysterically, our gazes locked, I couldn’t stop thinking of how my life would be without him.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“Nothing at all.” I lied.
The giggling had stopped and he noticed I had a lot on my mind.
“It’s me you’re talking to. I know when something is up, so tell me.”
“I’m just thinking,” I paused, searching for the right things to say. “I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life.” I looked down as a single tear slid down my cheek.
“Hey, look at me.” I moved my gaze back to his. “I’m always going to be here for you. I love you ali~cakies.”
“I love you too Georgie~poo.”
He embraced me tightly. I continued to let the tears fall silently as I clung to him. It’s times like these that show me how much he really does care.
Weeks seemed to fly by after that. Everything fell apart as well. My mom was constantly abusing me, physically and verbally; my dad had been contributing a lot lately, especially since my sister overdosed on heroine two weeks prior.
The hallways were packed as everyone rushed to their lockers. My gaze found his across the crowded hall; a slight smile spread across my face, but by then it was to late. She had approached him, and they were now lip locked. Her name was Chelsea, and she was Georgie’s new girlfriend. My heart seemed to break more and more each and every day I saw them together. Being around him was to hard, and I knew we’d never be able to act like we typically do together. Change wasn’t something I enjoyed, and he had changed when he asked her out. The “I love you,” he’d said before was now meaningless.
I sat alone on the bus, just staring out the window when the two of them got on. As if this isn’t hard enough for me, he needs to have her ride this bus as well? My mind rambled while the two settled in the seat behind me. Oh and now I have to listen to them too!?!?! It screamed. Instantly, I pulled out my iPod and began listening to music. It was up so loud I’m sure the entire bus could hear it.
By the time I got home I was broken. Completely drained as well as emotionally dead. The house was empty; silence filled my room as I sat on the end of my bed.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I mumbled. I turned on music once the tears began to fall down my pale cheeks. “Why can’t this be easy?” I sobbed. My mind raced, I crawled underneath my bed and pulled out a small cardboard box. A shiny razor blade gleamed back at me.
I picked up my phone and dialed Georgie's number. A few rings later and he answered.
“I’m sorry Georgie.” I cried hysterically.
“Ali? What’s wrong?” his voice was filled with panic.
“I’m just so sorry,” then I hung up quickly.
I picked up the razor and pressed it against my wrist. With one swift motion, it pieced the skin. Blood began seeping through the wound immediately. I did the same thing a few more times and then switched to my other arm. Minutes passed, and I was covered in a pool of blood.
“ALI!” I heard Georgie’s voice yelling faintly. “Oh my god! Ali!” he rushed in my room and knelt down beside me.
“I’m sorry.” I mumbled, everything beginning to fade.
“I love you. Why did you do this?” Tears ran down his face, it was the first time I’d ever seen him cry.
“I wasn’t enough…for anyone.” My voice was now a meek whisper.
Georgie just held onto me as I slipped away into the darkness, i seen him take the razor and cut into his skin too, he looked at me and said "Ali i love you babie". and he took me in his arms. Love Breeds Suicide played loudly throughout the room. I gazed into his blue eyes one last time before everything went black and I faded into the darkness.

George Macneil