Unwelcome Change

When the bomb dropped my parents, including my typically calm and sedate mother, took turns screaming at me, asking me how I could make such a big mistake, I didn’t say a word. I just took it silently, my right hand gripping my boyfriend’s, waiting for the storm to blow over.

“What were you thinking?” My father said, seething in anger. “What are you going to do now? You had your whole life ahead of you.”

“We had such high hopes…” My mom said, chiming in with my dad, a touch of sadness in her voice.

Finally the barrage of accusations ended and silence settled in the room. My hand was still intertwined in my boyfriend’s and I squeezed it tighter under my parent’s silent scrutiny. He pressed his hand in mine, letting me know he was there for me. He tapped his middle, index, and ring finger one at a time along my knuckles. I. Love. You. It was our secret code to each other, and I tapped I love you back a small smile playing at my lips at his gesture. Having him here next to me made things just a little bit easier to handle.

Finally my boyfriend spoke, breaking the awkward silence. “I know you don’t agree with this, but we’ve already made up our minds. We’re going to do this.” He looked over at me and held my gaze while continuing to speak. “Together.”

“But, you’re both so young.” My mom began. “You can’t possibly handle—”

My dad cut my mom off and finished her sentence. “It’s too big of a responsibility. You say you’re in love now, but what about five years from now? What about six months from now, when the bills start to pile up? What about your schooling? And his?”

The questions grew to be too much and I finally broke my silence, tears beginning to sting my eyes. “I don’t know Dad. But this is more than just feeling. He’s my one and only.” My voice broke with emotion and I couldn’t continue.

“What about God?” My mother added. “How can you do this knowing what He thinks about the whole situation?”

The question tore at me. I couldn’t deny that the thought had crossed my own mind more than once before making the final decision. But I had pushed the implications of it from my mind until it was too late, and the choice had been made without my ever coming to terms with it. Now in the aftermath, I attempted to find a way to gingerly walk the line between faith and love. It hadn’t been easy, but now after all this time, and against all odds, we were still together. “We’re just trying to make ‘the situation’ better, Mom. This seemed the best way we knew how.”

“The best way? What’s that supposed to mean? You shouldn’t even be in this situation in the first place.” My dad butted in, his voice beginning to increase in volume again.

Gaining courage with my boyfriend beside me, I answered my dad. “Dad, I can’t change the past or what I’ve done…” I paused, looked at my boyfriend and corrected myself. “What we’ve done, but however wrong you may see the act itself, the motivations behind it were right. And now we’re doing this to make everything right, in everyone’s eyes, yours and ours. Can’t you see Dad? What else can we do?”

“Get rid of him.” Said my dad, his eyes leveling on my boyfriend.

My eyes narrowed and I glared my parents down. I realized for the first time that they weren’t going to accept us now no matter how long we argued about it tonight. “Ok Dad. Then you’ll just have to get rid of me too.”

And with that my boyfriend and I walked out the door, leaving my speechless parents standing in the living room dumbfounded.

As we headed towards his car, he commented, “I guess you finally got that backbone I’ve been telling you that you needed.”

I looked at him and smiled, feeling bittersweet about the whole situation. “Yeah. Just in time.”